


Just the Beat of My Own Heart

by howellhaze



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, You've Got Mail AU, lots of references cause im trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:31:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5212868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howellhaze/pseuds/howellhaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil are rivals in every sense of the word. The problem is that they're already madly in love.</p><p>Or, where Dan and Phil fall in love on tumblr, unaware that the person they're talking to online is the person they hate in real life.  A "You’ve Got Mail" AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just the Beat of My Own Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I cant believe this is finally done. I'm so emotional and so incredibly proud of it.
> 
> This fic's plot is based off the movie ["You've Got Mail"](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128853/?ref_=ttqt_qt_tt) starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The title of the fic is a line from the movie.
> 
> It's alternating point of view, which I differentiate with bold text and asterisks.
> 
> Yes, Dan's MakoHaru rant is almost word for word what he said in his [liveshow.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUOpzvM0Aks&feature=youtu.be&t=43m41s) It's his fault for being Haru trash.
> 
> Disclaimer: I by no means am implying that Dan and Phil are in a relationship and I am not implying that they are the sexuality stated in my story. This is a work of fiction.
> 
> Please don't repost this anywhere.
> 
> My tumblr is [howellhaze.](http://howellhaze.tumblr.com/) Come chat with me (:

***Phil Lester***

A year ago, Phil would have normally taken ten minutes to do a simple morning task, his grogginess keeping him from actual productivity. It would take him way longer than it should to brush his teeth, straighten his hair, get dressed, grab some toast and head on to work. The time that it took for him to get out of bed in the first place, however, was when the morning tiredness absolutely took over, causing him to press snooze on his alarm _way_ more times than necessary.

That was last year. He hadn’t realized that all he needed was a little something to look forward to in the morning. Something that would will him to open his eyes at the inhumane time of 6 am, as his alarm rang. Something that would be exciting enough for him to not press snooze even _once_.

This morning, however, when Phil checked his phone squinting at the light in the dark of his bedroom, it hadn’t come just yet. So, he got ready for work and law abiding citizen he is, he didn’t even check the app on the drive over. He assured himself that he’ll check as soon as he gets to work, impatiently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Phil got inside, making a beeline to the desktop in his office.

As he brews himself some coffee, he waits for the computer to turn on, and he signs on to the familiar website.

Phil nearly knocks over his Adventure Time mug when he notices the little blue ‘1’ on top of the message symbol on his dashboard, carefully avoiding destroying his keyboard with coffee as the morning tiredness he felt slowly gets replaced with excitement.

Finally. He has a new message. And he’s sure it’s from _him_.                                                                    

It’s not like he gets messages on tumblr from anyone else, but it’s still exciting. He quickly clicks on the notification and excitedly confirms his suspicions. Thank god too, it’s been like eight hours since his last message, which is far too long in Phil’s opinion.

Yup, the message is from him. From _dinof._

Phil had just sent him a message last night, giving him his official opinion on the new Muse album. He had refrained from doing so until he had heard it fully through at least twice. _Dinof’s_ reviews on music were all so in-depth, so of course his opinion of ‘Drones’ was as well. Phil needed to make sure he knew what he was talking about before messaging him his own opinion. Phil constantly wondered if _dinof_ was in the music industry or something (huh, maybe he was actually Matt Bellamy, though he doubts Matt watches too much anime), with how passionately he spoke of it. Then again, _dinof_ seemed to speak passionately about most things.

It had been almost a year since Phil received _dinof’s_ first message. He mostly reblogged things on tumblr, rarely making a post himself, but when he did, they were usually video game reviews or something like that. The point is that he never really commented on ‘controversial topics.’ You can’t really count shipping as controversial right? Well, this was tumblr so everything is controversial.

He isn’t proud of it, but after going through the ‘Free!’ tag on tumblr and seeing nothing but MakoHaru shipping posts, he decided to make a post wondering why it seemed no one shipped RinHaru, listing what he thought were well articulated arguments for the ship.

He was rather proud of what he’d written so he made sure to add tags so people could find it. A few days and a few hundred notes later, a little notification popped up. The first little blue ‘1’ he’s come to rely on.

It was 11:42 pm and he was just getting ready to go to bed because he had an early morning the next day for work. As he got under the covers, he pulled the laptop closer as he waited for the message screen to load.

It’s from a blog called _dinof_. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen this blog before. He focuses, and begins reading the message.

> _“Hey there. I read your post about RinHaru vs MakoHaru and I feel you’re misunderstanding people’s reasons why they prefer MakoHaru in the first place. Most people who ship RinHaru are settling too quickly because they’re in it for the angst. But Makoto's character is much deeper, and is actually filled with sadder angst. He’s is a quieter person, not just angry nursing competitiveness. and when Haru was having his big existential crisis about not knowing what he wants to do in life, Makoto was the friend that cared about Haru's future (even though Haru was like ‘hop off my shit Makoto!’ and it was v dramatic.) I understand everyone has an opinion. I even occasionally go to the anime board on 4chan and people are so opinionated on Rin vs Mokoto, so trust me I get it. I hope you don’t take offense to this message, i don’t mean to shit on your ship or anything, I just think you’re overlooking how truly extraordinary MakoHaru is (and plus, Makoto and Haru would visually look so great together c’mon)”_

He reread the message three times, wondering whether or not he should be annoyed about how some random blogger was telling him what to ship. Who even _is_ this _dinof_ person? It’s tumblr, you should let people ship and blog in peace, c’mon. What does _dinof_ even mean anyway? Is it anime related, making them some kind of anime ship expert?

Not like his own URL is very anime related, considering its _gaminglion_. He half- regrets it now that he’s in this situation, but then remembers that _gaminglion_ is the coolest URL ever.

He shakes out his fringe, not believing that this message was actually making him rethink his tumblr URL. He doesn’t need to explain his ship to some blogger. He huffed to himself and went right to bed.

He didn’t last until after breakfast the next morning before he gave in and reopened the message. As he reread it, however, he kind of realized he was overreacting. _Dinof_ wasn’t necessarily telling him what to ship, they were simply explaining the reason why people shipped MakoHaru. Phil was always interested to hear other peoples differing opinions on games, shows and other things, there was no reason to be irritated.

Although Phil loved a good opinionated debate, he wasn’t exactly confrontational and he’d rather not argue, since he knows how extremely biased people are towards their own ship. He should just send a nice friendly response and that’ll be that.

Since he never really got messages he was also unsure on how to come off interesting or friendly enough. He clicked reply and began typing.

> _“Interesting point of view. I definitely can understand the appeal of the ship. Next time I rewatch ‘Free!’ I will definitely watch it from the point of view of a MakoHaru shipper and see if I think they would make a better match!!”_

There, that was a good enough response. He regretted not asking a follow-up question, because now he wasn’t assured a reply. It was kind of nice to have someone actually message him. And he to be fair he was kind of interested to hear more about the things this person liked, if they were to speak as passionately about them as they had about MakoHaru.

Phil had completely forgotten about checking whether he’d actually get a reply, but less than 24 hours later he logged on a found a message from _dinof_.

> _“Wow, I’m honestly astounded you didn’t tell me off for being a dick and criticizing your ship. you seem like the type of person who gets along with everyone which I suppose is an odd observation considering I don’t know anything about you other than that your blog description says “the guy with the hair” (well that does confirm you are in fact not an actual lion.) you also seem to reblog a lot of posts about Muse and video games and I definitely like my fair share of Buffy as well. We seem to have a lot in common ;). Hell, besides our similarities in our tastes of music and games, I too, am a guy with hair.”_

Wait wait wait. Was that….. a winky face? Did he _actually_ send a winky face? And he is in fact a ‘he’.

Interesting.

Phil realized he hadn’t stopped smiling since he opened the message. It’s just…. _dinof_ sounded so witty and smart and funny and snarky and _cute_ (can someone sound cute online? He definitely thinks so.)

Phil immediately followed _dinof’s_ blog, scrolling through the odd mix of aesthetically pleasing pictures, nerdy posts about anime, and memes that stopped being funny five months ago. His blog background was white with a black grid and seemed like the type of blog that someone pride in, unlike the mess of posts that Phil has on his own blog. He simply reblogs what he enjoys, not taking into consideration what would fit in the color scheme or aesthetic appeal of his blog.

Phil then also searched absolutely everywhere on the internet to try and figure out what his URL meant, but no luck. Maybe he’s from some foreign land and _dinof_ is actually his first name or something.

From then on, Phil messaged _dinof_ daily. They talk about everything, as they quickly learned they had even more in common than they had initially assumed. Muse was both of their favorite bands, they both loved anime, video games, Pokemon, superhero movies, even dogs, and they both had strong opinions about all of them. Their discussions about something could go on forever, and it never got boring. Phil could read _dinof’s_ opinions all day, the words he used seemed to be picked out so meticulously and he seemed to care so much about each and everything he talked about.

But they didn’t just discuss movies and music. They also began to talk about their day, asking about how each other’s day went and how they were doing. Because the truth was, they cared.

They would tell each other stories of wild nights with unnamed friends, and childhood traumatic events. Phil’s lame uni stories were _dinof’s_ favorite.

 _Dinof_ quickly became Phil’s favorite person to talk to, even if it was only online. Phil vented to him about his problems and dinof gave advice. _Dinof_ would complain about things going on in his life and Phil would listen and comfort as well as he could, even though they he didn’t know the specifics about Dan’s situation.

They don’t know many personal details about each other, no first names, locations or careers. _Dinof_ did mention he had turned 23 a few months ago, so age and gender were all Phil had to go on. _Dinof_ did seem to flirt quite a bit, calling Phil ‘charming’ when he went on about how nothing has ever compared to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and that his personality was ‘adorable’ when he told the occasional animal fact. _Dinof_ didn’t even sounding like he was being condensing, but that he truly meant it.

Honestly, Phil thinks he’s found his soulmate.

No one could have this much in common with Phil and not be his soulmate. Someone who thinks his animal facts are adorable (Chris always calls them lame, _please_ ), someone who appreciates Buffy for the masterpiece it is. Someone who’s messages he looks forward to everyday, and who appreciates his messages just as much ( _dinof_ always tells him so).

It’s too bad he probably lives on the other side of the world, and they’ll probably never meet. He most likely will never meet his soulmate, can you imagine? He’s going to end up with someone who will never compare to the guy he met online who enjoys his ramblings about nothing and sends him videos of shiba inus. This guy is the love of his life, Phil is absolutely sure of it.

He’d love to know the real _dinof_ personally, the one sitting behind the computer screen, but these messages he receives daily are enough for now.

Even all this time later, sitting in his office at work, he just can’t help but get excited to read what _dinof_ has to say, (hopefully _dinof_ agrees that ‘The Handler’ was by far the best song on the album.)

Phil clicks the notification, just about to read the new message, when his concentration is rudely interrupted by a familiar loud cackle coming from the open window facing the building’s parking lot.

God, the only thing Phil hates more than Dan Howell, was his laugh.

Phil just shakes his head and ignores it. He doesn’t have time for pretentious people with superiority complexes. _Dinof_ was way more deserving of his attention and his message was all he cared about right now.

> _“The Handler is my favorite song too! I guessed you would like that one, I must know you way too well haha. I will definitely be listening to it on repeat today at work as I pretend to be doing something productive. I hope that asshole in your building doesn’t give you a hard time today. Next time he’s a prick to you tell him you’ve got a super tough bodybuilder on your side ^-^ (I’ve never been to the gym in my life but he doesn’t need to know that)”_

Phil is really glad he remembered to close his office door because Chris and PJ would definitely be giving him a hard time for how big he was smiling at his computer screen again.

As he types his response, he’s already waiting for the next opportunity he’ll get today to check for messages from _dinof_. Maybe he can take an early lunch break or something? He is the owner of the store after all. He doesn’t have to explain his reasons to anyone. He’d never hear the end of it if he did to be quite honest.

He never thought he’d be the type of person who fell for someone online, but now that it’s happened he can’t help think it’s kind of romantic.

\---

“Hey Phil, do you have any more tape so we can put this sign up?”

After Phil had sent _dinof_ a reply, he decided it was time to actually be productive as he stepped out of his dreary too-white office. He never understood how all those official business-looking people in movies always had completely white offices or flats. That minimalistic look was overrated. Phil definitely preferred things to be colorful.

He never quite had the opportunity to paint his office though. Unlike the rest of the store, which he made sure to immediately set up to his liking as soon as the store was his. Each wall was a different color, from bright green to purple, to blue, to magenta. It didn’t look tacky though, just bright and fun in a very Phil kind of way.

Besides, the wall’s color barely showed through the rows and rows of games organized on the shelves. There were posters and cardboard cut outs of some iconic game characters, glass boxes filled with some of the more expensive merchandise and quite a few houseplants that made the shop more homey.

He preferred to hang out in the actual store with his employees, rather than his office, unless he really had paperwork that couldn’t be done anywhere else. One reason being was that he actually liked hanging out with Chris and PJ. He considered them actual friends rather than employees.

He greets Chris, who’s helping a customer out with a game as he makes his way over to PJ. PJ seems to be struggling while putting the finishing touches on the Game Night sign, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he draws.

Phil’s video game store, ‘AmazinGaming,’ (the two words not only share one ‘g,’ but the name even rhymes! Needless to say, he was very proud for coming up with it) opened about a year before. He absolutely loves it more than anything. He’d dreamed of owning his own video game store his entire life and he’s so thankful that his dream not only came true, but that the store is successful as well. He’d become good friends with his employees, business flowed and Phil couldn’t be happier.

His monthly game nights were always popular and definitely his favorite day of the month. He charges entry, clears a large space open in the back of the store and sets up games for gamers to come in and play all night. It’s always a full house. He even provides comfy cushions to sit on and snacks. It’s such great atmosphere to play games with people who love it just as much as you, even if you don’t know each other. He’s met such cool people who come regularly every month to rematch on games.

“I gave you the last of my tape,” he remembers, as he reaches PJ. How much tape is even on those rolls? They finish so quickly. Phil was feeling in a particularly good mood this morning, thanks to a certain blogger so, “you know what? I’m not too busy, so just finish drawing the sign and I’ll go to find a store nearby that sells some”

Morning messages from _dinof_ were the best. Mornings are never fun for anyone, but _dinof_ is like the little burst of sunshine in Phil’s day that makes him feel like anything’s possible.

Is he this normally this cheesy? Wow, he must be pretty far gone.

PJ continued drawing an Xbox One, not removing his eyes from the red cardboard, “don’t bother driving. Just go next door and ask to borrow some.”

Next door.

No thanks PJ.

It’s just, if he was being truthful, everything about his job is everything he’d dreamed it would be. Except for one thing. One thing in the form of a 6’3, infuriating prick who dressed like a walking funeral.

Dan Howell.

When Phil was looking for a location to open his store over a year ago, he couldn’t believe his luck when he found the perfect spot after countless days of searching online for places for rent in London. He immediately went to go check out the place in person, soon realizing that maybe luck wasn’t exactly on his side after all.

Right next door to the location he’d been eyeing, was a shop who’s sleek black sign read ‘Fire Games’ (the name seems slightly hostile in Phil’s opinion, but whatever, not the issue here.)

Yup, he was seriously considering opening a gaming store right next door to another one.

He’d looked for another spot on some other street and a few in different neighborhoods, but nothing stood out to him as much as this location. Money definitely had a huge factor, as this was the best price he could ever hope for, for a store this size. It was near a popular shopping district, including a Starbucks and a sushi restaurant. More importantly was that it was right in the middle of a neighborhood that a teenage to late-20’s crowd hung out in, which was exactly the demographic Phil needed his store to be in.

All in all, there seemed to be only one con. Phil was confident that the competition wasn’t something to fear. The hardest part would just be getting started right? He had quite a bit of money saved, and his grandparents had left him some extra money to get him started as well. He already had a plan to get his business running smoothly which included his brilliant idea of Game Nights.

A little bit of competition wasn’t anything to fear. Competition was healthy, even.

Phil remembers going to flower districts when he was younger. There were all these flower shops in a row so you can choose the flowers you want. Well, this was going to be the gaming district. If they didn’t have it next door, Phil would (vice versa as well, but Phil wasn’t going to think about that). Sure, some business might go to the store next door, but Phil’s convinced he has enough charm to woo the customers with his smile, never-wavering positivity and customer service. Once a customer was exposed to that, of course they’d come back right?

So he signed the papers and the store was officially his.

A year ago he knew what he was getting into when he opened a gaming store next door to another gaming store. What he wasn’t prepared for was the store’s owner.

“I’m not asking him for anything”

“God, Phil he’s not that terrible. He gets along fine with me and Chris. If you tried making an effort to be friends with him maybe—”

“I have tried! I’m always—well _usually_ polite.” It’s hard to be completely polite when speaking to Dan Howell to be quite honest, “You _know_ I’ve invited him to Game Nights, but he never joins Felix and Marzia.  I’ve even offered to help them move all the furniture in his store when Felix mentioned they were repainting all the walls, but he practically slammed the door in my face! As if I wasn’t offering as a favor and actually want to spend my free time doing unpaid manual labor!”

“I don’t know what to tell you Phil, maybe he just—”

“He hates me Peej. He always has and I honestly can’t stand being near him either. I don’t even know why I bother trying to act civil to someone who only looks down on me.”

“He’s like 8 feet tall. He can’t help it.”

“I meant figuratively, PJ.” Phil retorted, glaring at him.

And c’mon, he’s _barely_ taller than Phil. Like half a centimeter at most.  

Phil’s exasperated. PJ just doesn’t get the rivalry. Months and months of glares and snarky comments (quite a few zingers from himself, he’s oddly proud to admit) whenever they come across each other, and PJ’s probably convinced it’s just banter.

 _Banter._ As if he’d want to want to have banter with Dan Howell. Ugh, even thinking his name makes his nose scrunch up.

“It was a joke, Phil, you know, the kind meant be funny? Fine, I’ll just go get it myself, just give me a second to draw this.”

“No, no it’s fine. I’ll go, I don’t mind.” He did mind, but he didn’t want to seem like a stubborn child to his own employees.

Sighing, Phil turned toward the back door of the store. The most frustrating thing about the whole next-door situation was that their stores were literally connected. There was a door in the back to go from one store to the next without even going outside. Maybe the past owner of the building owned both stores and ran them both or something. He guesses it would be cool if he were actually friends with Dan, but since that are obviously not the case it’s just pointless.

Though sometimes Marzia comes over and brings them snacks, so he’s not complaining.

Before he pushes open the door, he quickly pulls his phone out and opens tumblr. He frowns when he sees that he has no new messages.

 _Dinof’s_ probably busy, doing something somewhere in some far off country, completely oblivious to the fact that Phil would love nothing more than use his message to put off speaking to Dan Howell as long as possible.

***Dan Howell***

“Would you two stop making out for five minutes and actually help out a customer or something?”

Dan’s not bitter. (Well, maybe. Kind of. He’d never admit it anyway.) He’s honestly really happy for Felix and Marzia. Once they finally sorted out their feelings for each other they became such a power couple. Dan considers them the epitome of a perfect relationship. Anyone would be slightly jealous of that, obviously.

Marzia is so genuinely sweet which was actually what convinced him to hire her, realizing that she had such a naturally pleasant personality which was what someone with good customer service skills needed (how Dan had made it so far with just himself and Felix, he has no idea.)

They’re really great together and Felix is less irritating ever since they started dating which is always a plus.

Except when he’s shoving his tongue down her thought in the middle of Dan’s store. Then he’s arguably more irritating.

“Not enjoying the show? You always struck me as a voyeur.” Felix wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Dan rolled his eyes. Felix took the hint though, kissing Marzia once more on the lips before untangling himself from her.

“You’re right, the real reason I pay you is to watch you two going at it, considering you never actually do any work,” Dan deadpanned.

Felix is a good mate. One of the few people Dan genuinely liked. He always knew how to take Dan’s stark sarcasm and would match it with his own. It’s hard to find people nowadays that weren’t easily offended. He’s fucking annoying most of the time but he has cute dogs he lets Dan play with so that mostly makes up for it.

“Oh I know I’m sexy, but nah.” He brought his hand to his chin, stroking it in pretend-thought, “maybe if Marzia was actually a Mark I’d believe you.”

He scowled at him, “shut up.”

Felix smirked as he noticed that Dan turned pink at his comment.

Why does he put up with this guy again? Dan pushed him, smiling contently as Felix stumbled.

“Speaking of which how’s your little tumblr boyfriend?” he asked, as he regained his balance.

Dan opened his mouth to respond when there was a hard knock on the backdoor.

“It’s open!” Why wouldn’t it be open? It’s 11 am. He swears people are getting dimmer by the day.

When it didn’t open at first, Dan went over to open it himself in case the customer didn’t hear him. As he strode over, he realizes it wasn’t the back entrance to the store that’s for the public, rather than the one leading into theirs from the store next door. The person on the other side must have heard him because it hesitantly opened and—

“Oh, it’s you.”

Phil Lester. Ugh, the day was going so well already.

“Yeah…it’s me” Dan could see him clench his fist. It was slightly funny how much he got under Phil’s skin.

Phil just stood there, in some bright plaid button down, awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets.

“May I help you? Or are you just going to stand there looking at your feet?” Dan made sure he had his best ‘im-bored-with-this-conversation-and-I’d-rather-be-anywhere-else-but-here’ face. He needed Phil to know just how little he cared for this conversation. Not because he feels the need to prove he’s better then him, obviously. He knows he is. Screw Phil Lester and his stupid plaid.

Phil grit his teeth, “iwaswonderingifyouguyshadanytapeweranout.”

“Babe, could you repeat that a bit slower?” Condensing pet names prove superiority. Ha.

“Don’t call me ‘babe.’”  Phil finally made eye contact with him, eyes narrowing into slits.

 _Woah,_ someone is touchy.

Obviously he was being condescending and Phil must know that. Dan almost outwardly grimaced at the mere thought of actually calling Phil Lester ‘babe’ in a completely non-sarcastic setting, but if ironic pet names push Phil Lester’s buttons then he thinks he could have some fun with this.

Phil just needs to stop giving him more ways to mess with him. It’s his fault, really.

“Sorry, babe.”

Phil just huffed and looked away. The movement created a gap in his fringe and Dan noticed it was a little shorter on the sides, meaning he must have gotten a new haircut, which _of course_ made his straight hair sit perfectly in a way Dan’s hair always took ages to get right. Stupid Phil Lester and his stupidly obedient fringe.

“We ran out of tape and were wondering if you had extra,” he repeated.

“Nope, have a nice day.” He immediately went to close the door but of _course_ Marzia must have chosen then to pass by and overheard him.

She pulled the door back open before it slammed shut in his face (that was the point Marzia, go back to eating Felix’s face), and smiling wide as she said “I just restocked our stationary drawer yesterday! You can borrow as much as you want.”

Why is Marzia so nice? Especially to Phil Lester. Phil Lester doesn’t deserve nice things. That stationary was for people who weren’t massive dickheads. Not Phil Lester.

Phil glared at Dan as he passed by him and walked into the store. He smiled a wide, genuine Phil Lester-smile when he turned to Marzia and thanked her.

Dan tuned out their conversation as Phil began complementing her “pretty variety of highlighters” she had bought when stationary shopping. Is he for real? Is he actually that easily impressed by such simple things or is he trying to pick up Marzia? No, he must know that she and Felix are a thing, they’ve left Dan to go next door to visit his store enough times and god knows those two can’t keep their tongues separated no matter who’s watching.

Maybe he just really likes stationary. Or colors. That’s probably the case, judging by his wardrobe and his overly colorful store walls.

Dan’s store is quite the opposite of colorful. Of course, there’s a bunch of bright gaming posters, plushies, and cardboard cutouts, along with the array of games on the shelves which added color, but when Dan opened shop over three years ago he’d made sure that it would fit the aesthetic he’d pictured it having his head.

The walls were all a dark charcoal grey, and the ceiling was white with an intricate design in off-white that tried to emulate a cathedral ceiling. There was a clear glass chandelier in the center (it was a lot cheaper than it looked). In the corner was a couch and a white table for people to sit and hang out with different brightly colored translucent chairs all around it for more of a pop of color (the black chair was unofficially always his spot.) The store was very…..Dan. And he loved it more than anything.

And one year ago he feared he’d lose it all to some blue eyed idiot in the form of Phil Lester.

Or bluey-green eyed. Or bluey-yellow. Dan didn’t pay attention. Obviously.

Dan was stocking shelves the day he met Phil Lester. Felix had called in sick that day, which just happened to be the day Felix had to stock the shelves with new merchandise.

Within twenty minutes he was convinced he’d carried enough heavy boxes for a lifetime. Dan was muttering to himself about how Felix would probably not even break a sweat lifting these boxes when the door dinged.

“I’ll be right with you!”

He just finished stocking a shelf, getting up from his crouching position, and turned around. He was met facing a tall, pale man with bright eyes and a, if possible, brighter smile. He had jet black hair and he was wearing a colorful galaxy jumper, which looked quirky but it somehow just worked on him.

“Hello, may I help you with something?” Dan felt suddenly very self-conscious of how his fringe looked after the mild manual labor he’d been doing. He wondered if he could he get away with fixing it without being obvious.

“I’m actually opening a store next door and I wanted to introduce myself! I’m Phil.” He held out a hand which Dan took, preening under his intense gaze.

“I’m Dan, I, um, own the store.”

_Super eloquent, Dan. Great work._

Phil broke eye contact at that, turning to take in the store in question. His eyes wandered all around the store, looking around him with a childlike wonderment that Dan found oddly endearing.

“It’s a really beautiful store. I’ve never seen a gaming store quite like this. In a good way, of course.”

He added on that last bit quickly, seeming like the type of person who makes sure he’d never want to offend anyone.

To be honest Dan wasn’t really paying much attention to what he said. He hasn’t looked away from Phil’s face since the moment he laid eyes on him.

_He’s so…. smiley. Why is that so charming? Have I ever really found ‘smiley’ charming?_

_That jumper would be ironic on anyone but him, I swear._

_Is his hair naturally that color? No, wait, his eyebrows are definitely lighter._

_His shoulders are so broad. Wait, what am I doing? Stop looking at his shoulders Dan._

When Phil realized he hadn’t responded, he turned back towards Dan. He immediately looked away, almost outwardly grimacing at the thought that he’d been caught staring.

“Oh, um, thanks? That’s really nice of you to say.” He forgot what Phil had said ( _what is wrong with me today, I’m losing my mind),_ but his response seemed to be appropriate because Phil beamed in return.

When he stared at Dan, he gazed so intently, devoting his entire attention to him and it made Dan feel vulnerable. He could sense Phil embodied a light that never went out, brightening any room he was in and Dan could not help but feel his cheeks heating up.

“Those pink pillows seem slightly out of place, but I guess all colors go well with black.” Phil chuckles as he walked over to the couch near the back wall, pointing out the pink frilly pillows Marzia brought from Italy.

“Oh Marzia brought those. She felt the place was a tad too depressing, I suppose.” She had been hired a week before, and immediately begun to put her two cents into the decorating of the place. Dan had nothing against pink per say, it just didn’t go with the aesthetic of the store. She agreed that it was Dan’s call, but conveniently kept forgetting to take them home on her way out of work.

“Oh, is Marzia your….” He trailed off, but didn’t break eye contact. Dan turned his had slightly so Phil would hopefully miss the way his cheeks darkened.

“No, no she’s not.” W _as I too quick to answer him? I hope he didn’t notice_. “She’s my new employee. I wish I’d asked her to come in today though. I didn’t know my other employee would call in sick today and now I’m forced to do all this manual labor myself” He gestured to the boxes he had to lift earlier.

“Did you need any help with that? I think I have a few minutes before I have to go back and talk to the construction workers.” Phil sounded so sincere which was completely off-putting.

You know how you offer people help, knowing they’re going to say no, but you say it to make it seem like you’re really nice and way more helpful than you actually are? This didn’t seem like that. Phil genuinely seemed like he’d love nothing more than to give Dan a hand, even though they just met.

Okay……… that’s a kind of a new level of selfless. What is he on about? Who is this person? Why does he stand close enough for Dan to be able to notice specks of yellow in his irises _—Dan no._

Dan gave him a shy smile. He wasn’t a complete dick that would burden someone else with his own work and besides, he had pretty much finished for the day. “Oh that’s not necessary, thanks for the offer.”

“Are you sure? Well, if we’re going to be working-neighbors I’d love for us to at least get to know each other right?”

“Is working-neighbors even a thing?” Dan chuckled.

Phil’s cheeks turned pink and looked down in what seemed like embarrassment.

Shit, is he easily offended? Dan needs to stop being so insensitive, not everyone has his sense of humor.

He immediately felt guilt wash over him. He didn’t mean to make him feel bad! He silently wondered how he already seemed to miss his brightness and knew that smile needed to be back as soon as possible. “I’m sure Felix and Marzia would love to meet you. We should all have coffee or something sometime. I have this fancy espresso machine and I’m the only one who really drinks from it to be quite honest.”

Phil brightened instantaneously and Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

They never got around to meeting for coffee.

It was one week later when he found out Phil was a complete and utter backstabber.

He’d gotten into work a little late that day because he overslept but whatever he’s the boss, he can’t fire himself. Felix and Marzia were in the front of the store, peering outside towards the construction workers who were setting up the front of the brand new store next door.

“Dan! Finally. Have you _seen_ this?” Marzia’s brows furrowed in concern.

“Hello to you too. Seen what exactly?”

“The store they’re setting up next door.” Felix replied, as if Dan should simply know these things.

“That Phil guys store right?  They’ve been hammering that place for weeks, I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. What about it?”

“Yeah but Dan, they just put the sign up. Why didn’t you tell us it was a gaming store?” Marzia crossed her arms questioningly.

Um.

What the fuck.

Dan just gaped at them for a few moments before immediately turning around and heading for the connecting door, not bothering to knock as he let himself in.

Phil was turned around talking to some electrician animatedly about what Dan guessed was lighting fixtures. He didn’t normally interrupt people but this was an exception. He tapped on Phil’s shoulder until he turned around to face him, his expression immediately brightening when he caught Dan’s gaze.

“Dan! It’s great to see you again. Doesn’t the store look—”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were opening a gaming store?” He demanded.

Phil must have noticed the way Dan was looking at him and his hostile tone, and his smile immediately fell.

“I—I didn’t think it was a big deal. Um, I guess I just forgot to mention it?” Phil stuttered and looked slightly guilty.

“You _lied_ to me. Was it because I’m your competition or something? Were you just pretending to be nice?” Dan hoped he didn’t look to hurt about the last part being true. He did his best to school his expression into something that resembled a mix of apathetic and scathing.

His owl eyes widened making them seem almost comical, “No! Of course not, Dan. I was hoping we could be friends. I would never—”

“Whatever. Just know I’ve put too much love and effort into my store to go out of business because of your poor location planning. I’m not going down without a fight.”

If this is the type of person Phil was then he wanted no part of it. Why did he even come into Dan’s store in the first place? Was he spying on how he ran his business? Did he already have some plot brewing on how to drive Dan’s store to shambles in order to be the single reigning gaming store in the neighborhood? All he knows for sure is that Phil isn’t as nice and friendly as he seems.

A proper person would have at least given a bit of fair warning. ‘Hey, nice to meet you. I’m opening a store right next door to yours which may single handedly destroy your business, make your years of hard work meaningless, leaving you with no career path, and bankrupt you, which will then force you to reconsider all your life choices from your parents basement.’

Nope. Phil Lester was bad news.

Dan turned and walked back to his own store before Phil could respond, leaving him looking disappointed and confused.

And that’s how his passive aggressive feud with Phil Lester began.

Dan shook his head to clear the memories, standing in the back of the store with the door still held open as Phil invaded their stationary drawer. The back and forth thing he and Phil have going on whenever they have the displeasure of being in each other’s company just worked. Dan loved being able to show off how quickly he can come up with a snappy retort towards whatever Phil threw at him. Banter with Felix is fun because they’re mates and it’s all a laugh. But with Phil it’s different. Obviously, the main reason being because in no universe would _they_ be ever mates.

However, Dan also likes it because although Phil was an adequate adversary, and definitely had his fair share of rudeness to throw at an (obviously) undeserving Dan, Phil could never manage to have the last word. Dan always left him stumbling over his words, or pausing and stuttering to think of what to say back. The thought made Dan smug.

Though there are regrettably the moments when Dan thinks he goes a tad too far. The back and forth is fun and winning is even more fun but sometimes he thinks he toes the line of cruel and goes home wishing he just kept his mouth shut. Phil seems the type to shake it off though. So it’s not a big deal right? Even if it meant that being mean left a bad taste in his mouth for the rest of the day.

“Are you quite finished?” Dan asked. Can he just get out? He has more pressing matters at hand. Like to finally convince Marzia to stop sharing our precious stationary with horrible people.

“Um—yeah.” Phil turned to Marzia, “Oh, by the way, we’re having another Game Night next week!”

“Really? That’s great! I was hoping to get a chance to kick Felix’s ass again” she smiled mischievously as Felix yelled “Hey!” from the front of the store.

Dan shook his head a smiled softly. Felix letting Marzia win games was a tactic he used to win her over when they met. When she eventually fell for him he hadn’t quite had the heart to tell her she isn’t as good as she thinks she is.

He heard a cough, and his smile disappeared when he realized Phil was trying to get his attention as he walked towards the door.

Phil avoided his eyes, “you’re welcome to come too, Dan,” sounding reluctant to be even asking.

“No, thanks,” he made a move to slam the door in Phil’s face before Phil’s hand shot out to stop it from closing.

“I was just asking to be nice. No need to be rude, _Daniel_.” Phil said, putting an emphasis on the last word.

Daniel? The fuck? Literally no one calls him Daniel. The way he even said it came off condensing. Phil obviously didn’t even want Dan to go to the stupid game night thing, even if he did want to.

“I’ll be busy. Have fun with your cute attempt to bring in customers,” he snapped back.

“Well it obviously seems to be working considering there’s currently no one even in your store.” he said smugly, peering in over Dan’s shoulder, “You probably never show up to one because you’re just bitter it turned out to be a great idea and I had it first.”

“I don’t need ridiculous promotions to keep my business running. Now kindly leave my store,” slamming the door shut in his face before he could respond.

He turns to see Marzia and Felix in cuddling in an armchair, oblivious to everything as usual. He was kind of relieved. They’d probably lecture him again about trying to make amends with Phil. But their animosity was justified. He was convinced of it. Phil just wasn’t someone he could ever see himself getting along with. Even if he they hadn’t got off on the wrong terms, they’re just too different. Their clashing personalities would never result in anything that even resembled friendship.

Sighing, he picked up his phone to take his mind off of it. He clicked on his tumblr app and his mood immediately improved when he saw the little notification he’d been waiting for.

> _“I appreciate the offer, and understand completely. I’m probably in the worst shape of anyone ever! I’d probably be outrun by a sloth (did you know they scream to attract mates???). Every time I pass by the gym on my way to my favorite pizzeria I feel guilty until I eat a slice!  But anyway, there’s no hope with that guy in my building. He gets off on belittling people and making them feel less important or something. I feel like he’s one of those people who are so unsatisfied with how their life turned out or something so they take it out on others by being patronizing. Maybe he was bullied as a kid and now wants to be one? Who knows. I think could handle myself alright, except I could just never seem to get the last word in. my mind just ends up going blank. I’m not meant to be mean, is what it is. I’d rather everyone in the world just got along. Hope you have the very best morning.”_

Dan frowned at the message. It kind of hit to close to home.

Patronizing. Was he being patronizing to Phil? Is he exactly like the asshole _gaminglion_ always talks about? Would _gaminglion_ hate him as well, if he knew Dan in real life? The thought hits him really hard. Dan doesn’t really know the type of person he is, all he knows is that he wants to be someone who _gaminglion_ would be proud of.

And here _gaminglion_ is asking Dan for advice about a type of person that most probably is very similar to himself. How is supposed to help him?

The thing is that Dan thinks Phil is the bad guy in his own situation. But he can’t very well say that to _gaminglion._ He’s sure he’s is the victim in whatever situation he’s in. He’s too sweet to do any wrong.

But he deserves Dan’s honesty. Dan has poured his heart and soul into the messages they’ve sent to each other. _Gaminglion_ has never seen his face, but he’s probably seen more clearly into his soul than anyone Dan has ever met.

He’s the type of person who Dan wants to spend eternity with and his opinion of Dan is the most important.

***Phil Lester***

The stairs to Phil’s flat feel especially steep tonight as Phil trudges up the steps. While waiting for his leftover fajitas to heat up in the microwave, he lights some cinnamon scented candles and waters the plants, humming to himself.  He finishes up as he hears the beep that signals his food is ready.

He eats quickly while watching Netflix and suddenly remembers that it’s been like 2 hours since he checked for messages. He could have received so many messages in that time! (He usually gets one message at a time, but still there’s a chance.)

He quickly opens the app and sure enough he has one new message.

> _“I love how you know me well enough to give me such perfect advice whenever I need some, and that you trust me to give you my advice for your own life, but I feel like I can’t exactly help you here. It’s just that I kind of have the complete opposite of your problem. I always have the last word in my arguments and its always so scathing that it sort of makes me feel bad. Like there’s this one guy whom I consider the bane of my existence. I’ve always felt that he deserves it, but now.. I’m not sure. Your message made me reevaluate my thoughts on the whole situation. However, I don’t think your reasoning for why the guy you know is a dick applies to me. like, yes, I was bullied as a kid cause of my posh accent (I kind of talk like the Queen), but I really don’t think  that’s the problem in my case, since I get along great with absolutely everyone else. It’s just him. I just feel like I’m being patronizing and a bad person and I’m scared that I am? And you, an incredibly outstanding kind person, is being patronized and I’m furious at whoever made you feel that way, but now I’m imagining the guy I know in real life feeling the way you feel now. What if he isn’t as bad as I think and he takes what I say to heart? I’m sorry I’m not being of any help to you, and only showering you with my own problems. What I can say for a fact though, is that although you may believe that not being able to say something particularly scathing is something to be ashamed of, it truly isn’t. The satisfaction you think you may feel lasts about 0.2 seconds. as someone who is on the other side of your scenario, you will only be filled with guilt and the question of whether or not you really are as nice of a person as you always thought of yourself to be.”_

Phil frowned after finishing the message. He wants to cuddle _dinof_ and tell him it’s all going to be okay. After hundreds of messages he thinks he has a good enough say on _dinof’s_ character and although no one is perfect, _dinof_ comes pretty close in his opinion. He doesn’t know the specifics of _dinof’s_ situation but he’s sure—wait.

‘Posh accent.’

‘Talk like the Queen.’

This cant mean...nope, he isn’t getting his hopes up. There’s plenty of queens right? What are the chances he might actually be referring  to Queen Elizabeth. The queen of the very country Phil is currently standing in.

But he has to know for sure. Should he ask? They’ve never really asked for each other’s personal information, they just sort of mentioned it themselves in passing if it felt right.

And what if he thinks it’s too weird, or forward, or invasive and doesn’t want to tell Phil? Maybe instead of asking he’ll just… casually mention in passing that he lives in London.

That won’t be weird right? That way it’ll put the ball in _dinof’s_ court.

He quickly starts typing.

> _“I know we don’t actually know each other but absolutely everything I’ve learned about you through these messages just point to you being a great person. Don’t doubt yourself! I just wish you could transfer some of your witty comebacks to me and that way you’d never feel bad for saying them and I could defend myself every once in a while. How great would that be? Don’t be too sad though, its mid-September aka tv shows are back for new seasons and since it’s the beginning of autumn everything smells like cinnamon! No one can be sad when a cinnamon candle is burning. I wish I could carry a cinnamon candle around London with me so everywhere I walk will smell lovely. Knowing me I’d probably accidentally set pedestrians on fire. Oh well.”_

There. Phil rereads it four times until he decides it’s perfect. It’ll cheer _dinof_ up, prove to him that Phil thinks he’s not mean, and casually mention his own location. He’s can’t help but extremely nervous as he presses send.

***Dan Howell***

London.

London, like London, England.

Dan blinks at his screen furiously but the word doesn’t go away.

He can’t believe it. The person he’s been messaging this entire time lives in his city. What are the chances? This is like fate or something. Dan’s never believed in fate, convinced it was just a dumb movie cliché. But looking at his screen he doesn’t know if he’s sure of that anymore.

What if he’s seen him before? What if he’s passed by him on the street or stood in front of him in line at Starbucks? What if he lives in Dan’s apartment? What if he’s been a customer in Dan’s store? What if he bought a game from his store that he later messaged Dan about playing? What if Dan was the cashier who sold it to him, not knowing that this guy was everything to him. That this guy was the personification of everything good in the world. With his dumb jokes and lame animal facts that never failed to make Dan smile. With the fact that he just has so much faith that Dan isn’t a terrible person even though Dan had told him that he kind of believed he was.

With his tendency to make Dan feel secure and sane and wanted.

He’s not going to lie to himself. He doesn’t have many friends. He’s lost touch with everyone from uni. Felix and Marzia come over to his flat every now and then for drinks and Mario Kart, Chris and PJ are nice whenever they stop by the store, but he’s not particularly close to anyone. He doesn’t open himself up and when he messaged that quirky boy on tumblr all that time ago it just seemed so easy.

It’s just tumblr right? It’s not hard to tell someone faceless about your problems and fears. There’s no need for walls to be put up if no one knows who you are. He can unrestrictedly be his full, honest self. The anonymity just makes it _easy_. He presumed that the person on the other side of the messages would be on the other side of the world. (He’s pretty sure that statistically most tumblr users are from America. He figured _gaminglion_ could be from Idaho or something.)

But here he is, heart on his sleeve to a guy that he could possibly run into tomorrow. A guy who’s messages fill his entire being with an unwavering and relentless feeling. With a word he isn’t ready to acknowledge yet.

Before he could convince himself out of it he quickly presses reply.

> _“Being told I’m a great person by someone like you means so much. But before this gets too sappy I need to just quickly let out: YOU LIVE IN LONDON??? Okay it’s out. Literally wtf is life, I live in London too. Do you think we should meet? Like in real life? It’s okay if you don’t want to just thought I’d ask lol”_

Dan presses send and immediately refreshes his inbox, even though he has no idea if _gaminglion_ is even anywhere near a phone or computer, and probably wouldn’t respond that fast regardless.

Fuck, what if he doesn’t want to see Dan. What if he misinterpreted this whole thing and he’s actually an insignificant part of his life and—

He paces, while continuously refreshing and waiting for a familiar notification. Why did tumblr ever change the number notifications color from red to blue? The dashboard is already blue. It makes it so much more difficult for his eye to catch that he has a new message which is unacceptable in an urgent situation such as this. Stupid unnecessary updates.

He stops the moment he notices the little blue ‘1’ pop up, quickly clicking on the message.

> _“I’d love to.”_

\---

“Marzia, I’m not changing my hair to meet him. If he’s the love of my life he should accept my fringe for what it is,” Dan said while locking the front door.

“It was just an _idea_. I love you and all but your hairstyle is a little outdated.”

Dan scoffs. How is she expecting him to style it? A quiff or something? Yeah, no.

They were sitting in his store after closing time, which apparently meant that his employees felt comfortable to insult his appearance now that they were off the clock.

The September rain was pouring relentlessly on the windows, as Dan mentally thanked himself for remembering an umbrella.

“Can we focus on the real issue here? I’ve been talking to this guy for a like a year and now I’m meeting tomorrow and it’s all a bit surreal and what do I even say to him—”

Felix has an amused smile from the other couch, “Awwwww is Dan Howell nervous?”

Ugh. No.

Well kind of.

After _gaminglion_ agreed to meet him last night, they had chosen to meet at a popular café that they both knew of. _Gaminglion_ said he was busy Friday night but was free all day on Saturday. Which was _tomorrow._ He’s meeting someone who he could easily imagine himself spending the rest of his life with. Tomorrow.

How would anyone possibly not be nervous?

When is he ever going to come across someone else in his lifetime who is patient enough to tolerate his long ramblings about existentialism and intelligent enough to understand them and give his own input? Someone who doesn’t think he’s crazy about how he has the tendency to bring up theories about the inevitable demise of humanity, and who has a few of their own? Someone who appreciates Dan’s love for art and fashion (although he wasn’t very artistic or fashionable himself) and appreciates his ironic sense of humor, and teases him when he becomes too self-deprecating. Someone he vents to about any internal crises he may have, and gives him such passionate spiels of advice that genuinely sounds like he cares.

Someone who’s presence (albeit online) emits the vibe of an old soul with so much personality, yet someone young at heart that just screams that he’s excited by life. Someone who makes Dan feel excited by life. Someone who proves to him that he hasn’t seen everything and life is extraordinary and beautiful and _god_ he’s nervous to meet him.

How does he even begin to make Felix understand this.

“Fuck off.” Good enough.

Felix rolls his eyes, but Marzia senses Dan’s defense mechanism in action and rubs his back soothingly. “Dan, he’s going to love you. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

His skepticism must have shown on his face because she rushed to add, “from what you’ve told me he sounds great, and I don’t know why anything would be different face to face.”

Dan smiled meekly, “yeah I guess, thanks.” He did feeling slightly better.

Felix checked his phone and turned to his girlfriend, “babe, it’s late, we need to go kick Chris and PJ’s asses.”

Dan hesitated, “you’re going next door?” Felix nodded.

As if on cue, he heard a loud cheer from Phil’s store, which must means Game Night already started.

Suddenly Marzia’s words didn’t feel as true as they did a few moments ago. Will _gaminglion_ love him when he meets him? Or will he quickly discover that he has just as bad as the type of people he complains to Dan about?

Phil has made a conscious effort to make amends and Dan has shut him down every single time. It was always the easier option. Easier than actually trying to be at least civil acquaintances.

But now he has a reason.

“You know what? Wait up, I’ll join you.” He stands and grabs his coat and makes his way to the back, before he looks over to Felix and Marzia gaping at him.

“You’re actually coming to Game Night? You know Phil will be there right?” Felix asks looking dumbfounded.

“Yeah, whatever, it’s not a big deal,” hoping he comes across nonchalant. Just because he’s accepting Phil’s invitation doesn’t mean he’s going to suddenly be best friends with him or anything. He’s simply going to go play a couple games, exchange a few pleasantries, eat some snacks and be on his merry way.

Hopefully that will clear his conscience and he’ll be able to meet the person he’s been messaging tomorrow, without the idea that he’s not good enough plaguing him.

Marzia looks pleasantly surprised but doesn’t say anything. She’s probably worried of scaring him off and changing his mind. Makes sense, considering she has been the one campaigning for he and Phil to be besties since the beginning.

“Alright then, Mr. Social Butterfly, after you.” Felix holds the door open for him and he steps into Phil’s store, with Marzia and Felix following close behind.

Dan’s been inside Phil’s store a grand total of twice, since usually when they run into each other, he’s at his own store (plus a few tiffs in the parking lot where Dan claimed he ‘stole’ his parking spot. Which is completely untrue and you can’t even call dibs on a spot so he had no idea what he was on about).

The first time was the day he mentally declared Phil essentially his arch nemesis, and a few months back, when Chris and PJ invited him and Felix over to hang out after closing time, after rolling their eyes and assuring him Phil had gone home when they sensed his apprehension. It’s still as colorful as ever. Not that he has anything against bright colors, it’s just very… Phil Lester.

There are lots of bean bag chairs scattered around with a couple dozen people mulling around chatting, drinking Ribena wand watching people play. Dan has to hand it to him. It’s a nice set up.

Dan immediately spots Phil walking over to greet them. He refrains from rolling his eyes when he sees Phil do a double take as he notices Dan.

“Hey guys! I’m so glad you could make it.” He goes to hug Marzia and Felix as they greet him in reply. Phil then turns to Dan and a few emotions pass over Phil’s expression, as he hesitates on what to say to him.

“Hi Dan, um, I haven’t seen you here quite often,” he says as he gives a tentative wave. Dan’s not particularly surprised at the particularly un-Phil like welcome. He’s usually all hugs and warmth, but to be fair, they’re not exactly best mates.

“Is that a variation of ‘do you come here often’? Don’t think I’ve heard that one.” He replied coolly.

Felix guffawed as Phil’s expression grew more confused. He seems to visually relax though, now that he knows Dan wasn’t here for blood.

“That’s such a boring pick up line. I love the ones that are puns! You know like the Tennessee one? ‘You’re the only ten I see.’ But we’re obviously not even American so that wouldn’t work.” He chuckled warily.

Fucking hell, there is so much Dan could make fun of him for, in just that one statement. He is definitely not used to keeping his mouth shut. It is physically painful. Why is he here again? Oh yeah to be a better person. Ugh, why is this so hard? Damn tumblr boys who give him a conscience.

Dan thinks the only possible way to not be rude or, well, _Dan,_ will be to simply ignore him. This is probably the longest non-confrontation conversation they’ve had since they met and it was progress. _Gaminglion_ would be proud.

“Cool” he says tight lipped as he walks away, not before seeing a glimpse of Phil’s face morphing into something that resembled disappointment.

He greets Chris and PJ, who are playing some game with the crowd of customers whom they seem to know. These Game Nights must attract regulars if there are customers who come every month. It truly is a great idea.

He spends the next hour playing a game on one of the televisions with Felix (and beating him), eating popcorn with Chris at the snacks table and avoiding Phil. It seems to be going quite well if you ask him, considering he’s not necessarily one who goes to many ‘parties.’ If you can call a group of nerds playing games together on a Friday night a party.

Honestly, he’s done for the night. An hour is a socially acceptable time to leave a get-together right? He had a short but civil conversation with Phil and even socialized with some friends. He needs a good night’s sleep to mentally prepare to meet _gaminglion_ tomorrow, because lord knows being tired will onloy add to the nerves he will feel.

Dan bids Chris and PJ goodbye, and then walks over towards the couch where Felix and Marzia are playing a game. “Hey guys, I think I’m going to head out.”

“Bye mate, see you tomorrow.” Felix says without looking up from the screen, pressing furiously on the controller buttons.

As he puts on his coat, he eyes the on-going party, everyone still too wrapped up in games to really pay much attention to him. He neglects to realize, however, that Phil is not in that group of people. As he walks towards the back of the store, he sees a lone Phil Lester eating some candy, with a coffee cup in his hand by the refreshments table. Should he say bye to him? Ugh. Being civil and polite causes unnecessary stress.

“Oh, Dan, are you leaving?” Phil asked, still somewhat nervously.

“No, Phil, I’m headed towards the door with my coat on and my keys out because I’m currently in the middle of a round of Mario Kart.” Dan said with an eye roll. _Honestly._

Phil glared, while turning to face him. He opened his mouth to retort but at that moment seemed to trip on absolutely nothing in the way only Phil Lester could. Dan could barely react as Phil’s full cup of scathing hot coffee splashed all over Dan’s trench coat and shoes.

“Oh—oh my God, I’m—”

“ _Phil!_ This coat cost 300 pounds!” Dan quickly grabbed some napkins from the table, frantically rubbing his chest and sleeves. “Fuck, it’s probably ruined. Dammit, Phil, why are you so helpless?”

“I didn’t _mean_ to, Dan. You could probably get it cleaned,” Phil grabs a napkin and lightly dabs at the coat. “And anyway, who even spends 300 pounds on a coat?”

He doesn’t even _look_ sorry. Rude. He could at least pretend. No manners whatsoever.

And what, is he judging Dan for spending some of his hard earned cash on a gorgeous black trench coat that he may or may not have been inspired to buy because it looked like something from an iconic fantasy series? He’s perfectly allowed to indulge himself every now and then. Dan is almost curious to see what his reaction would be if he’d worn his Versace t-shirt. Who does Phil even think he is?

“I thought it made me look like a Ringwraith from Lord of the Rings,” Dan said, crossing his arms. “Why am I even explaining myself to you?”

“I’m just surprised you’d splurge on something so expensive to be honest,” Phil said, with a slight sneer on his lips.

“What, because my store isn’t nearly as successful as yours, you mean.” Dan spat.

“You said it, not me,” Phil said, cocky tone apparent. Any nervousness he usually had around Dan seemed to have dissipated.

Did he just—? What a prick.

Dan took a step closer, crowding him, “Get off your fucking high horse, Phil. You’re not better than me because I put effort into my appearance and like nice things and you think you’re _too_ _good_ for them. Hell, you obviously dye your hair. You’re no one to even talk.”

For someone who smiles as much as Phil does, he sure knows how to shoot daggers with his eyes. “I don’t think I’m too—”

“Whatever. Like I care about your opinion of me anyway,” Dan growled. He’d had enough.

Dan shoved past him to get to the door. To think he’d tried to be _friendly_ towards the guy.

Its incredibly ironic that colorful, never ending ball of light Phil Lester is actually a complete and utter asshole.

***Phil Lester***

“I’m home Sebastian, did you miss me?”

Phil stepped into his flat, turning on the lights. As expected, Sebastian the Fern did not respond. He really needs to stop talking to his plants. Maybe he should look into getting a dog. It’s socially acceptable to talk to dogs right?

Phil sighed, collapsing on his sofa.

Why did Dan even come tonight? He never comes to Game Nights. Whether it was because he thought he was too cool for them, or because he simply couldn’t stand being in the same room as Phil, he had no idea.

Dan seemed—well, not _nice_ , per say, but civil, during the beginning of the night. He’d had high hopes for the rest of the night. Maybe he and Dan would have had bonded over Mario Kart or something? But nope, not only was there no Mario Kart played between them, but Dan had to go and ruin it by being himself.

And like _okay_ , maybe Phil shouldn’t have had to go insulting his fashion choices or spending habits, but he was provoked! Dan _provoked_ him, and it’s not his fault. He was just responding to Dan’s provocativeness. Oh no, wait, that sounds sexual. Nope, nope, nope, he’s not letting his mind go there. This is Dan Howell. Cruel, condescending and unnecessarily attractive, Dan Howell. Ugh.

Why is he even thinking these things? Especially tonight, of all nights. Phil is meeting his _soulmate_ tomorrow. That is what he should be focusing on.

He should be deciding on an acceptable outfit, thinking of conversation topics in the event of an awkward silence, and try to will his legs not to go out of control and fall on his face when he finally meets him. God, he hopes he doesn’t spill a drink on his soulmate on their first date.

It’s safe to say Phil is stressed. Ironically, the person he goes to in times of stress is the person he’s stressed over now. Still, it would be comforting to talk to _dinof_  right now.

He’d already messaged _dinof_ earlier in the afternoon and he hadn’t replied yet. Now that they knew that the two of them live in London, they haven’t stopped telling each other stories of their favorite moments spent in the city and their favorite places to go. Phil had read the passionate ramblings of _dinof’s_ favorite spots and all he could do was imagine himself in those places with him. Unfortunately, in those fantasies, _dinof_ is faceless. But tomorrow he’ll finally have a face to place in those fantasies. And who knows, maybe by then they won’t be fantasies any longer.

He opened the app, and thought ‘screw it.’ Phil’s not afraid of double messaging.

> _“Hey, just felt like messaging you to tell you I’m really, really, excited for tomorrow. Can’t help but feel a bit nervous haha. But I’m still excited anyway. You’re so sweet and I’m sure you’re even sweeter in person :) see ya tomorrow <3”_

***Dan Howell***

“Fuck, why am I doing this again? Marzia, shit, why didn’t you talk me out of this?”

Felix and Marzia, kindest people in the world, offered to walk Dan to the café where he’ll finally meet the boy he’d been talking about all this time. The café he and _gaminglion_ had decided on was luckily walking distance from work, and Dan knew that if he were to be finally meeting him tonight he would definitely need the fresh air.

“Don’t be so _nervous,_ Dan. Just be your normal self. Well, okay, maybe a _little_ less awkward? I’m sure he’s used to your awkwardness by now, actually.”

Marzia is sweet, but it did little to calm him down. Dan wills his legs to move slower. Damn his long giraffe legs. They’re almost at the damn café and he needs more time to prepare himself.

Felix was strolling beside them, holding hands with Marzia, seemingly without a care in the world.

“Dan, if you get more nervous you’re going to completely sweat through that shirt,” Felix chimed in, “you should fan yourself with that album. Actually, why the fuck are you even carrying an album?”

Dan ducked his head turning pink, turning his copy of ‘Origin of Symmetry’ in his hand and raising the single white rose he held in his other, admiring it.

“Well, it’s both of our favorite album, and um—”

“Let me guess. Does he also have a copy of the same album and a white rose? So that way you know it’s each other?” Felix snickered.

“Well how else are we supposed to know its each other if we haven’t seen each other’s faces,” Dan burst out. Felix is a twat.

Marzia rubbed Dan’s forearm reassuringly, “well I think the idea is lovely.” She turned and sent a glare in Felix’s direction.

The album had been _gaminglion’s_ idea. And it was a good one, in Dan’s biased opinion. Dan’s idea was the white rose, so they compromised and decided to each bring both to the café. See? They’re already in a more healthy relationship than most couples.

Relationship.

Couples.

Dan was going to hyperventilate.

“What if he has a really squeaky voice or something, or has a distracting mole on his face, or is like three heads shorter than you,” Felix wondered, clearly unaware of Dan’s internal turmoil. Felix is doing the opposite of helping.

Dan was about to go tell Felix to shut up before he shoved this album somewhere the light doesn’t shine, when he felt Marzia tug on his arm.

“Dan! Were here,” she smiled excitedly.

He immediately turned in his spot, and sure enough the sign of the café was staring down at him in obnoxiously fluorescent orange lights. Fuck fuck fuck. He’s not ready for this.

But then again, when will he ever be ready to meet his soulmate? Most people don’t have the opportunity to prepare like he does. They’re truly in a unique situation, the two of them. Who else can say they met someone online, fell in love, and had the opportunity to meet in person? This is a story for the ages.

But he still has trouble moving his legs. He pulls his phone out to check the time. Dan is eight minutes late, so if _gaminglion_ is punctual, that means he’s currently right through the very door Dan is standing in front of.

His hands immediately go to his fringe, running his fingers through it obsessively.

“Okay, this is going to sound really lame of me, but can you _please_ look through the window for me?” Dan asks tentatively.

Firstly, Dan needs to know he’s actually there before he walks in and makes a fool of himself. Secondly, maybe they can tell Dan if he’s cute or not. Dan’s sure he will be. He sounds cute online.

Felix has the good graces not to laugh or mock him and Marzia smiles and nods. Dan watches from a few feet back as they go up to the window and peer in.

They looked around for a few moments, until Felix taps on Marzia’s shoulder and points at something or someone through the window. They whisper to each other, faces hidden from Dan, for the most agonizing thirty seconds of Dan’s life before slowly turning around and walking back to him.

Marzia was biting her lip and looking down, and Felix looks like he’s on the brink of laughter.

He raised his arms up when they stayed silent, “well!?”

Felix took that moment to absolutely collapse in a fit of obnoxious laughter, clutching his stomach. What the hell.

“Um, well. I—I don’t think he’s going to hate your hairstyle,” Marzia muttered, still not looking Dan in the eye. Felix started on a new round of laughter at that.

Dan was completely confused. “What do you mean? How do you know—?”

“It’s Phil!” Felix stopped laughing long enough to speak, wiping his eyes, “He has the album and the rose! It’s literally Phil!”

Phil.

Phil Lester.

No.

Dan ran to the window to see for himself, and sure enough, Phil Lester was sitting alone at a table for two, with an album and a white rose, sipping a drink.

That’s—that’s impossible. But no matter how many times he blinked, Phil wouldn’t disappear.

Phil Lester was _gaminglion_. This entire time. Dan didn’t even know he liked _guys_.

Dan slowly turned around and walked back up to the other two. Felix’s laughter had subsided to giggles. Marzia immediately began ranting, “Dan this is great! He’s truly such a nice guy! You just got off on the wrong foot and never got to know him. Well, I guess you did get to know him online, but now—”

“Goodnight guys.” He sighed and turned towards the direction of his flat. Marzia gasped and grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn back around.

“You’re not going in? You’re just going to leave him there? He doesn’t deserve that, Dan! Just give him a chance,” pleaded Marzia with wide eyes.

“Let him go, babe. It’s not our business.” Felix rubbed her back to comfort her, not breaking eye contact with him. Dan could see the disappointment in them, despite the fact that he defended his choice.

Dan turned and walked away, lost in his thoughts.

The universe is truly fucked up.

***Phil Lester***

Phil took a sip of his second latte of the night, glancing up at the door for about the millionth time.

 _Dinof_ was exactly sixty-two minutes late. It wasn’t looking too well for him.

He was willing himself not to freak out. Maybe _dinof_ misread the message and got the time wrong? Or maybe there’s a different café location by the same name, and he went to that one by mistake? Or maybe he didn’t see the album or rose from the angle he’d placed it on the table. Phil shifted them slightly, just in case.

Or maybe he walked in, saw what Phil looked like, and walked back out. Phil’s heart physically ached at the thought.

Every time a new person walks in, the door dings and Phil cranes his neck so fast it’s starting to hurt. But one hour later and there still is no cute boy carrying an album, a rose, and Phil’s heart, in sight.

Phil sighs, draining his cup.

The door dinged again. Phil willed himself to not immediately lift his head, as he’s probably embarrassed himself enough tonight. It’s probably just another group of old ladies as it was the last twelve times.

A few moments later, Phil felt eyes on him, and he slowly lifted his head.

Standing before him, smirk on his face and eyes perked with interest, was Dan Howell.

“Hello, fancy seeing you here,” Dan greeted, tilting his head as he looked down at him. Phil wondered if his permanent expression was a smirk.

“Hi,” Phil replied curtly.

Phil got over the surprise of seeing him there and looked him up and down. Dan was wearing an expensive looking black jacket covered with zippers and a grey t-shirt underneath. His legs were covered in impossibly tight black jeans, and his hair was styled perfectly as usual.

“Anyone sitting here? Doesn’t seem like it,” Dan didn’t wait for an answer as he sat down in the chair across from Phil.

Um, rude. That chair is for _dinof_. Even if he’s an hour late.

“I’m expecting someone actually,” Phil said coldly.

“Then I’ll leave when they get here," Dan grabbed Phil's album off the table and examined it, holding back a smile. "Ooh, ‘Origin of Symmetry’. You don’t strike me as a Muse fan.” 

“Well, you obviously don’t know me that well, since it’s my favorite album,” Phil grunted. Why is Dan even sitting here? Is he going to yell at him again for accidentally spilling a drink on him yesterday? If he’s here to hand Phil a dry cleaning bill he has another thing coming.

“Yeah, you’re right.  I guess I don’t know you very well,” Dan furrowed his eyebrows and lowered his eyes. Was that—regret on his features? “Actually, that’s my favorite album as well.”

“Oh. Cool.” Phil looked away. He wishes Dan would just leave. What if _dinof_ chooses now to come in and sees Phil occupied with someone else and leaves before they could meet?

“So who are you meeting? PJ? Chris?” Dan inquired. “Aw, pretty rose. Are you going to give this to them?” Dan picked up the white rose from the table and twirled it in his fingers, smiling at it.

He’s mocking him. Dan is mocking him.

“That’s none of your business—”

“Ooh, snappy. I must have touched a nerve,” he suddenly clutched his heart, gasping exaggeratedly. “Are you here for a _date_ , Phil Lester?”

The smirk was back. Damn, Phil hated that smirk.

“Yes, if you must know. A first date.” Phil proudly raised his head. He had nothing to be ashamed of here. Dan was the one wandering about alone on a Saturday night. Phil was on a date. One who hasn’t shown up yet, but whatever. Semantics.

“And will you be snappy towards them too?” Amusement laced Dan’s voice.

“No, because the person who’s coming here tonight is completely unlike you.” Phil made sure it sounded as if it was the greatest trait he could possibly ask for in a partner.

Dan was full on grinning by now, “Is that so?”

“Yup. He’s really funny, and loves the same things as I do, and is the sweetest person I’ve met in a long time.” Phil’s mood instantly brightening as it usually does when he talks about _dinof_.

It’s only when Dan’s grin gets wider when he realizes he just gave away _dinof’s_ pronouns. Oh my god, he just kind of came out to Dan Howell. Dan’s definitely a prick, but he doesn’t strike Phil as homophobic. Still, Phil wonder’s if Dan even caught his slip.

“He sounds lovely. I’d love to meet him,” Dan quirked his eyebrows at him. “But…he isn’t here.”

Wow, way to state it bluntly, Howell.

Phil glared at him. “He’s a tad late, but he’ll show. And you wouldn’t want to meet him. I already told you that he’s the opposite of you.”

“What, so I’m not funny or kind then?”

“Your sense of humor is based off of belittling others! You think you’re so much more superior than everyone else, too cool to hang out with any of us or come to Game Nights, yet you’re the one who goes home alone on Friday nights while the rest of us are having fun, not even noticing you’re gone. You’re just a bitter asshole who’s too childish to admit that my business does better than yours, so you try to compensate by being patronizing in order for you to feel better about your sad, sad life.” Phil finished in a quick breath.

Dan stared at him for a few moments that felt like years to Phil.

He cleared his throat. “Wow, tell me how you really feel.” He chuckled, but there was no humor in his voice or laugh. His expression was unreadable.

Phil thinks he’s possibly more shocked than Dan is over what he just said. Sure, Dan’s provoked him multiple times, but Phil’s never responded this— _cruelly_. He should probably say something. An apology of some sort. Should he even apologize? He’s never been put in this position before. God, Dan is probably going to rip him to shreds for this.

But all Dan does is take a deep breath. Avoiding his eyes, he slowly stands up, “goodnight, Phil.”

Not waiting for a reply, Dan turns and walks out the door without turning back.

\---

Forty minutes. That’s how much longer Phil could bear sitting on that chair after Dan had left. He’s waited for _dinof_ long enough, but it seems like he just wasn’t going to show up.

He’s been stood up. Simple as that. Phil shook his head, as he undressed and got into his pajamas. No, _dinof_ would never _actually_ stand him up. There _must_ be a reason he didn’t show. Maybe he got into a car accident on the way. Maybe he lost his car keys. Or maybe he got a sudden case of the flu and was bed ridden, too sick to send him a message that he won’t be able to make it.

Phil’s eyes began to water, sitting on the bed and staring at the white rose he left on his bedside table. It’s just so frustrating that he’ll possibly never know. It’s frustrating that he had to sit alone at that table for _two hours_. Frustrating that at a moment of vulnerability, Dan Howell decided to show up and make things worse. That Phil had been so cruel. And he knows Dan deserves it, but he can’t help but feel so incredibly bad. The funny thing is that this is _exactly_ how _dinof_ told him he’d feel when he finally got the opportunity to fight fire with fire.

This is just too much for one night.

He wiped away a few stray tears and pulls up his phone, but just as he expected, he has no new messages. No explanation for why _dinof_ never came in. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, opens them, and presses reply.

> _“Hey. I was at the café tonight and you never showed. You probably have your reasons. I just can’t help but feel kind of foolish. While I was waiting for you, however, that guy from my building I can’t stand showed up, and something crazy happened. I finally left him speechless. I actually had the last word and told him off like I’d dreamed of all this time. The thing is… I feel horrible, just as you said I would. Although, I really doubt this guy cares about what my opinion of him is. In his eyes I’m just an annoyance, like the gum at the bottom of your shoe. But what if he does feel bad? What if I made him feel a quarter of how bad he makes me feel? I don’t want that, I never wanted to fall all the way down to his level. I just…feel like I’m a bad person. I know this is a weird time to be asking you for advice. For all I know, you didn’t show up because you don’t give a crap about me. It’s okay though. I just love talking to you. And if these messages are all I get, then that’s more than enough.”_

***Dan Howell***

Dan stared at his laptop screen in the dark, rereading _gaminglion’s_ —no, _Phil’s_ message over and over. It’s still surreal to know that all this time, it had been Phil Lester on the receiving end of Dan’s messages.

When he’d left Felix and Marzia standing in front of the café, he’d walked towards his flat deep in his own thoughts, chucking the rose in the nearest bin he found.

All this time he’d spent bickering and talking down to Phil, and he’d been doing so with the same person Dan was pouring his heart to online. The person whom he thought was the complete opposite of himself is the same person he considered to be his soulmate. It was just—too much to comprehend in that moment. He couldn’t just prance in the café before he had a chance to think. He needed to know how he felt about this. If anything had changed.

He’s still not sure to be quite honest. Phil is still the person he argues with more often than not. And Phil hates him. If he didn’t know before tonight, he definitely knows now. But Phil is also the person who he’d slowly been falling in love with.

As he’d been growing nearer and nearer towards his flat he decided that regardless of where he and Phil stood, he wouldn’t know unless he talked to him. He needed to go in that café with an open mind and test the waters. If anything, a part of him wanted to see if he could spot some of _gaminglion_ in Phil. So he went back, tucking the album in his jacket’s inside-pocket. And well, it didn’t seem as if Phil was opening his heart to him anytime soon, as he’d done online.

Dan typed out a sentence, and backspaced about 5 times, but nothing sounded right. How is he supposed to explain himself?

His eyes went ran over Phil’s description of Dan in the message, ‘that guy from my building that I can’t stand.’ He almost laughed. All this time, all those messages he’d sent complaining about some dick from his work building, Phil had been describing _him_. Life is so ridiculous sometimes.

He’d written, ‘In his eyes I’m just an annoyance, like the gum at the bottom of your shoe.’ Does Phil really think that? Cause damn, Phil’s words in the café had hurt. He must actually care about Phil’s opinion of him, despite what he thinks.

It’s going to be impossible responding to this. He can just…not reply. Phil already thinks Dan doesn’t give a shit about him since he supposedly “didn’t show.” If only he knew.

But no. He can’t just not reply. Because Phil or not, Dan has begun to rely on these messages. He can’t imagine a day where he’ll not look forward to what these messages say. To what _Phil_ has to say.

God what has his life become.

He sighs, and presses reply.

> _“Hello there. The reason I didn’t show up is complicated, but I just want you to know how truly sorry I am. And don’t ever think I don’t give a shit about you because that’s furthest from the truth. You are so incredibly important to me. I’m also sorry that work-neighbor of yours caused you additional pain. I’m positive that whatever you told him was provoked, and even deserved. You are not a bad person. Fuck, you’re probably the greatest person I know, and it kills me that you feel this way. I hope you’re not too angry with me, because I would really love to continue hearing from you. I don’t know what I’d do without your puns in my life haha. Hope to hear from you soon <3”_

Dan doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring, but he goes to sleep dreaming of blue eyes and the London sky.

\---

“So you actually went back?”

“ _Yes_ , Marzia.”

“But you didn’t tell him you were the person he was planning on meeting in the first place?” She asked for like the eighth time today. As if the answer was going to change in the last twenty minutes.

Dan groaned. He’d been over this with Felix and Marzia all day. When he went in to work the two of them immediately began to interrogate him, and now he thinks they’ve planned some sort of good cop/bad cop strategy. Felix has tried annoying him to get info and now Marzia is trying to use her unending niceness for evil. It was incredibly annoying.

“Well I don’t think he would have wanted to hear it. He made his feelings about me pretty fucking clear.” Dan muttered.

“But, are you going to at least try—”

“Can we _please_ change the subject? How was your weekend?”

Felix got off work an hour ago, so Dan and Marzia were sitting around on the couch in the store as a few idle customers browsed around them.

She frowned, “Not the best. Felix and I got into a fight last night. We’re all good now though.”

Dan furrowed his brows. The two of them were as lovey-dovey today as they usually were. He would have never had guessed they fought last night.

This has happened more than once though. One of them will complain to Dan about the other, some fight about some stupid issue, and not long after that all would be resolved and they’ll be all over each other as if nothing happened.

“You two have been fighting more often lately,” he observed out loud.

“Oh, don’t worry about us. It’s usually us being stubborn over trivial issues, but we love each other too much to let it really affect our relationship for more than a few hours,” she smiled softly.

“But you’d rather continue bickering with him than find a less stubborn boyfriend?” Dan loved them together, and was positive Felix treated her great. He was just curious about how she felt about it.

“Of course! People like him don’t come every day. It would take me forever to even come close.”

“You could probably find someone else who’d want to date you in less than two seconds, Marzia. You’re amazing, don’t sell yourself short.”

She giggled, “thank you, but I meant someone who you care about so much that it’s hard to put in words. Someone who makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning because you miss them when you’re asleep. Someone who just….fills your heart with joy. Someone you’re simply in love with. That doesn’t come every day. If you ever get that, hold on to it while you can.”

At that, she stood up to go ring up a customer who was standing by the cash register. Dan sat there, her words running through his mind.

He knows he’s felt that. He’s felt exactly what she described. What she described love to feel like.

Before, when he tried to think about the person he’d began to fall in love with, it had been a faceless person, speaking _gaminglion’s_ words in a voice Dan didn’t know. But now he has a voice and a face to fit the person he considers his soulmate.

Phil Lester is the person he associates with love. Who the fuck cares about all the arguing and bitterness? All he knows is that Phil is the one who’s been sending Dan all those messages. And that is the person he loves. And he has a feeling Phil feels the same way, even if he doesn’t know who he loves is Dan.

So it’s settled then. He’s going to fight for this. He will fight for Phil and their potential relationship.

But first things first. He needs to make Phil not hate him.

***Phil Lester***

Phil needs to stop putting this off. It’s been long enough. He stares at the paint cans by his feet and sighs.

He’s constantly complaining about how dull his office is, but he’s been procrastinating actually doing something about it. He’s the one who _wants_ it renovated, but his laziness has bested him.

Chris and PJ finally got sick and tired of hearing about it and forced him to drive to the hardware store to pick up some paint and supplies. So now, Phil has really expensive paint, yet no motivation to do manual labor.

He’d firmly refused to hire a professional, obviously.  Way too overpriced in Phil’s opinion. And it was just painting some walls, and maybe adding a light fixture or two. How hard could it be?

Then again he’d probably find a way electrocute himself or something. Maybe he should have called someone.

His procrastination was interrupted by a tentative knock on the door.

Phil raised his eyebrows. Chris and PJ usually barge into rooms uninvited, despite Phil’s many protests. Why are they suddenly knocking now?

“Come in?”

The door opened, revealing Dan Howell. Which. What.

He was standing in the door way, grin enveloping his face, wearing a black t-shirt and his usual skin tight black jeans.

“Hello,” Dan just stood there smiling at him. It was kind of creepy. Isn’t he supposed to be mad at Phil? What the hell.

“Um. Hi? What are you doing here?”

“I came in to say hi, and Chris told me you were in here, so here I am,” he gestured to himself to emphasize his point.

The wave of guilt that had been drowning Phil crashed around him now that he was near Dan again. He shouldn’t waste this opportunity.

“Look. Dan. I—I shouldn’t have said those things the other night. I didn’t—”

“No Phil, don’t apologize. I’ve been such a dick to you. I deserved it,” he said resolutely.

“But I just feel—”

“Seriously. I’m not mad.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m not here to retaliate or anything. If anything, I just came to hang out,” He explained earnestly.

Hang out? Dan Howell doesn’t hang out? Not with him anyway.

Phil quirked his eyebrows at him, yet Dan’s smile didn’t waver.

Is he taking the piss? Does he expect Phil to humor him? Or maybe he genuinely wants to hang out with him. Huh.

“Well. You can come in if you like. I’m actually going to start painting the office right now, so you might not like the paint fumes,” he picked up the first can as Dan entered the office.

“You’re painting it yourself? Quite the handy man,” Dan chuckled.

“Yeah, well, I supposed it couldn’t be too tough. I might be in way over my head though,” Phil’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the paint roller.

“I could help if you’d like!” Dan exclaimed suddenly.

Phil’s eyes widened. “You—you want to help me?” he asked sounding completely dumbfounded.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun! We could make a game out of it or something. Try to see who can finish a wall quickest.” He looked genuinely thrilled by the idea.

Phil just couldn’t even comprehend this. Dan truly seems like he wants to befriend him. And he’s even offering to help him. Chris and PJ didn’t even offer.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do that. And besides I’m sure you have enough work to do over at your own store.” He was still skeptical. But this is just so out of character, who could blame him?

“I’m the boss, Phil. I just gave myself the afternoon off,” winking at him, and then turning towards the paint cans to examine them.

Okay. So this was a thing. They were on a winking basis now.

“So are you planning on painting the walls eight different neon colors, like the rest of your store,” Dan asked trying to open one.

“ _No_. It’s going to be all one color. Light blue. And my store isn’t _neon_ , its lively.” he huffed indignantly.

“And mine is the color of death,” his dimple popping out as he smiles proudly.

Phil rolled his eyes, but Dan caught him, scoffing and pushing him slightly. Phil giggled and tried to push him back, but Dan dodged him.

Oh my god. They were play-fighting. Like proper mates.

Phil smiled to himself, pleasantly surprised with how the day was going, as he began to lift the lid of the first can.

“ _Phil!_ You can’t open the can on the ground like that, it’s going to spill all over the carpet!” he said, rolling his eyes, but he didn’t sound like he was actually making fun of him. He was looking at him with an expression that could only be described as…fond. “Here let me go grab some newspaper, be right back.”

This is the most bizarre day of Phil’s life, but he’s not going to question it.

\---

“So do you have, like, a plant fetish or something?”

Hours later, and they hadn’t even started painting. As it turns out, you need to cover the floor in newspaper, duct tape the length of the all the walls at the both the ceiling and floor (which took way longer than necessary because the tape kept sticking to Phil’s fingers and Dan giggled and took pictures as he struggled to get it off, instead of helping), and mix the paint before you could even actually begin painting anything.

By the time they had done all that, Dan collapsed on the floor groaning and refused to get up. They hadn’t even gotten to the _hard_ part.

Now he’s just leaning against Phil’s desk as Phil searches the internet for efficient ways to make sure the paint is even and perfect.

“ _No!_ I just like them. They make the office look homey and inviting.”

“I’m assuming your flat is full of plants then.”

“Just a few,” he muttered. More than a few, but Dan doesn’t need to know that.

He probably could tell Phil was fibbing but nodded regardless, “hm. I have a cactus you know. I keep it on my boxset of Buffy.”

Phil gasped, turning to fully face towards him, “you like Buffy? That’s my favorite show of all time!”

Dan quirked his mouth, something crossing over his face Phil couldn’t read. “Really? I had no idea.”

“Yeah, it’s a masterpiece. It’s the greatest show ever _created_ ,” He paused thinking about what Dan had said. “You know it’s funny you put a _cactus_ on a Buffy boxset.” He chuckled at himself.

Dan just looked confused.

“You know? Cause cacti have spikes? And a character in the show is named Spike?” Phil explained earnestly. It’s a good joke in his opinion.

Dan stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, shaking his head. “Ah I see. Good wordplay Phil.” He continued scrolling through his phone, still smiling, muttering something that sounded like “who even are you,” under his breath.

Phil smiled at the praise. He knew he was funny, even if Chris and PJ give him crap.

He looked down at Dan, and _sure_ he’s seen him smile before, but it was rare that the reason was because Phil had made him smile. He has personally caused Dan’s dimples to deepen, and well, they were cute dimples to be the cause of.

\---

Phil wasn’t sure if he was surprised or not when Dan showed up the next day, but he definitely was happy he did.

They actually started painting today. And when they weren’t splattering each other (Dan had brought little plastic cover-up’s for painting because god _forbid_ he got a bit of paint on his t-shirt), they actually painted an entire wall pretty well.

They each started on one side trying to see who could reach the middle faster, and turns out they are both quite competitive. Phil was trying his hardest to concentrate with Dan poking him in the ribs to distract him. The worst part was when he realized Phil was squirming away because he was laughing. Once he found Phil’s tickle spot, all hell broke loose. That’s when it got serious and Phil really put his all in. But, as it was, they reached the middle of the wall at the same time.

Dan’s finger’s grazed Phil’s as they finished up the middle in close proximity, and he stilled.

Phil decided to break the awkward silence, “I definitely won.”

“You did not, Phil!” not even bothering to try to look mad as he sighed in relief as the tension passed.

“Did to!”

“Did not.”

“Did to!”

Dan glared at him. Not breaking eye contact, he looked like he was contemplating something, and then asked, “Do you want to go to lunch?”

\---

“To be quite honest I wish this season was a bit scarier. If it has the word ‘horror’ in the title I expect to be kept up at night,” Dan said with a mouthful of cheeseburger.

“Yeah, it’s definitely more _creepy_ than scary. Asylum was the best season.”

Turns out, Dan pretty much watches every television show Phil does. And he has a lot to say about all of them, American Horror Story included.

“Definitely. By far! Much more character-driven, and the story arch flowed rather than how all over the place Freak Show is. Coven was quite enjoyable as well, although not on par with Asylum. Emma Roberts is great.”

Phil stole a fry from Dan’s plate, “She was okay I guess. The over exaggerated teen drama wasn’t really my thing. You just like her cause she’s cute.”

He didn’t miss the way Dan’s cheeks turned red. He paused, then looking up at him from under his lashes, said, “nah. To be honest, I much prefer Evan Peters.”

Oh. That’s—he didn’t know that.

Phil didn’t know how to ask this next question. He tried not to stumble over his own words, “You mean you’re…..?”

Dan laughed at his hesitancy. “Gay, Phil. I’m gay.”

Now that the awkwardness passed, Phil could tell from the way he spoke that he was confident in his sexuality.

“Cool,” Phil said, since he couldn’t come up with anything else. He tried to not outwardly cringe at himself. Cool? God, he’s so _awkward_.

“Yeah, pretty cool I guess,” Dan said, dimple forming as he chuckled at Phil’s never-ending awkwardness.

“So does that mean thoughts of Evan Peters keeps you up at night, since the horror doesn’t?”

Dan choked on his food, clearly not expecting that to come out of Phil’s mouth. He threw a fry at him, turning a cute shade of pink. “ _Phil!_ ”

They started throwing fries at each other until the waitress glared at them, and they sheepishly stopped.

They were quiet for a few moments. Phil cleared his throat and Dan looked up at him. “I’m actually bisexual, by the way. Just so you know.”

Dan gave him a small smile. “ _Cool_ ,” he imitated.

Phil glared and threw a soggy fry at him.

***Dan Howell***

Dan kind of feels like an idiot.

Anyone with a smidgen of intelligence would have probably figured out that _gaminglion_ and Phil are the same person. Or at _least_ realized how similar they are.

It’s not his fault though. He was completely biased against Phil in the year he’d known him. He deep down knew he was being hypocritical when he thought one of _gaminglion’s_ cute characteristics was ‘childish’ when Phil did it, but that was simply because of his past opinion of Phil.

Now that he’s looking at things with a new perspective, it’s so glaringly obvious. He told odd stories about his day to day life with the same enthusiasm, just orally rather than typed out. When Dan casually mentioned the inevitability of death at breakfast a few days ago (as one does) Phil said his ‘ _friend_ has the same ponderings.’ He was surprised Dan watched anime, and asked him if he’d seen ‘Free!’ which was absolutely _hilarious_. Hell, the only similarity Dan even needs, is the fact that he quite often interrupts both Dan and himself, to tell him animal facts in the middle of conversation. Which should piss him off more than it does.

It’s so easy to understand how he fell in love with him, even before he really knew him in a sense. And now he has a face to fill the blank spot in his mind, and damn what a face it is.

Dan always felt a strange sense of happiness whenever he’d receive a message. A glow of bright yellow in his chest that wouldn’t fade, and only reignite as the next message came in. It’s only fitting that Phil was the one behind that happiness, him being the personification of happiness himself.

Every time Dan says something particularly sarcastic, which someone like Felix would just try to one-up, Phil would laugh. He’d throw his head back, face brightening as his tongue poked out from between his teeth and Dan couldn’t stop staring. Anytime he thought Phil would catch him staring he’d quickly turn away, face burning.

His eyes are what Dan truly finds himself getting lost in. A shade of cerulean so incredibly mesmerizing that it was hard not to. Maybe it was tumblr sending him a sign when they changed the new message symbol to that shade of blue. That shade of blue had been a source of happiness, and now he found the real thing, just deeper with more specks of green and yellow.

And he can’t look away.

***Phil Lester***

“You know, I’m like the least handy person and probably the most lazy, but I’m quite proud of myself here.” Dan said, eyeing the newly painted wall with a mouthful of pizza.

They were sitting on the ground, leaning against Phil’s desk eating lunch Dan had insisted on paying for, taking (another) break. It was well deserved though. They’d only been working a few days and they got most of it done. Dan would come in the morning and stay for quite a few hours, insisting that he didn’t have much work to do at his own store. Phil didn’t believe him but he was grateful. To be honest he’d been starting to consider Dan as a friend. Maybe even a close friend. He wondered if Dan felt the same way.

“Hey, I helped too!” Phil put his empty plate aside, grabbing an unopened can of paint. “You know, I think I bought too many of these cans. If we don’t use this one you should use it to un-monochrome your store.”

Phil quirked his eyebrow cheekily. He obviously knew Dan would never take up the offer but it was fun messing with him.

“I like the monochrome thank you very much,” he replied, looking unimpressed. “Besides, it’s best that our stores are kept as different as possible, seeing as we sell the same things right next to each other you know.” Dan said pointedly.

Phil chuckled, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Dan didn’t say anything, awkwardly playing with the hem of his shirt. After a beat he said quietly, “I was kind of….terrified I’d go under you know? Once you like… set up shop…”

Phil paused. “Are you—Dan I had no idea you thought like that.”

“Yeah…. That was one of the reasons I was kind of always an asshole to you. So. Um. Sorry about that.” He finally looked up, meeting phil’s eyes. “It’s just…the store was my pride and joy. And you pranced in with no care in the world and I felt like you were just taking it away from me.” He chuckled solemnly, trying to say it jokingly but failing.

Phil had no idea. Dan just always seemed so confident in absolutely everything. The way he talked and dressed and acted….there was no way Phil would’ve guessed he’d felt threatened or insecure.

“Dan I—after that day you found out I was going to have a gaming store, I felt so bad. I never thought about the fact that it would have blindsided you like that. And now that you’re telling me this…” he cut himself off, looked down shaking his head in regret. “I chose this location with the idea that I could handle competition, but I never gave a second thought to how it might affect the other store. How it would affect you.”

“Phil you had no reason to even consider my feelings. You didn’t even know me.”

“I still feel bad though.”

Dan smiled at him sincerely, rubbing his hand on Phil’s back reassuringly, “it all worked out though. I took my resentment out on you, which I shouldn’t have. But look at us now! Two successful businessmen who also happen to be friends.”

“One with superior painting skills and the other with…unnecessarily tight jeans.” He looked down at Dan’s legs, “seriously, how the hell do you walk in those things?”

Dan stood, throwing his plate in the bin, “Are you checking me out Phil Lester?” he asked turning around purposefully to give him a good view. He threw a cheeky wink as he turned his head, catching Phil in act.

Phil _definitely_ did not blush as he awkwardly picked up his phone, absentmindedly clicking on things.

“Ooh you have a tumblr? You seem the type.” Dan said peering over his shoulder a minute later. He had a strange glimmer in his eye as he smiled.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Phil scowled.

Dan cackled instead of replying, which eased Phil’s annoyance.

His laughter was intoxicating. When you heard it you couldn’t help but smile.

***Dan Howell***

The office is done. Dan’s trying to not be sad.

“A professional would have finished it in a day, but good work guys. It looks great,” PJ admired, looking inside.

It really did look lovely. The large window shined bright sunlight on the light blue walls, making the whole room feel inviting. He and Phil had hung up twinkle-lights, rather than setting up a light fixture, which turned out perfectly. Even all the plants seemed like they belonged. Dan could see what Phil had been going for.

“I’m sure you two just got distracted a lot, huh?” Chris wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Dan scoffed, trying to look at Phil’s reaction to the comment without being too obvious.

Phil was a dark shade of pink, but ignored Chris and just said, “It really looks great. Dan, I can’t thank you enough for helping out,” directing a particularly bright smile towards him.

Dan assured him over and over it was nothing, and that he enjoyed it. But as he had absolutely no excuses to still be in Phil’s store now that the office was done, he reluctantly left leaving Phil waving him goodbye with a smile tinged with a little sadness. Or maybe he was imagining things.

A week passed, and all Dan saw of Phil was a few ‘hellos’ and a couple short conversations here and there. But there were only so many times you can stop by ‘because we accidentally bought extra donuts and thought you might like some.’

Still, Dan was determined to spend more time with Phil.

Today when he went over, he came empty handed and had no idea what excuse he’d give. PJ gave him a knowing look when he spotted him, which Dan ignored.

“Where’s Phil?”

“He’s sick, mate. Bad cold or something. He stayed at home so he won’t pass it on to us.” Chris answered.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows. Sick? He looked all right yesterday.

His mission to make Phil his is now met with an obstacle, but besides that the very thought of Phil sick with no one to care of him just makes his heart hurt. This is not okay. Dan made up his mind.

“What’s his address?”

\----

“You would _not_ be Thor if you were an Avenger. _C’mon_.”

“Yes! I think the long hair would suit me, as well.”

Dan had arrived at Phil’s flat with a bowl of soup and irrational thoughts that Phil wouldn’t want him there. That seemed not to be the case thankfully.

Phil answered the door wearing pajamas and fuzzy socks, sniffling and looking tired. When he saw Dan, however, his face brightened, even in it sick state. Dan had declared he was here to tend to Phil’s well-being and refused all Phil’s feeble attempts to argue that he’d get Dan sick. He simply told Phil to grab the blankets and his Avengers DVD.

“Just do me a favor and don’t go blonde,” Dan shook his head fondly at his ridiculousness as the end credits came up. “Pick something else to watch. I’ll make you tea.”

Phil grabbed a tissue from the box, “okay, can you add honey please?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dan smiled to himself, going into the kitchen.

Phil’s flat was homey, with a comfy looking couch and a fireplace that was warming the whole place up. There were plushies randomly scattered about stacks of DVD’s and books everywhere and more than a few houseplants, including a cactus that sat on the living room table. It had a very lived-in look that Dan liked.

Phil had drunk his soup, thanking Dan repeatedly, as they watched the movie together. He turned out to be great to watch movies with. He didn’t talk incessantly throughout it like Felix does, but adds commentary at appropriate scenes, which just adds to the experience. Although Phil had wrapped himself in blankets, his knee touched Dan’s throughout the whole movie which was extremely distracting. If Dan hadn’t seen the movie about fifteen times already he’d have no idea what had happened.

After he spent a good five minutes searching for the honey, rather than making Phil untangle himself from his cocoon of blankets and show him where he kept it, he finally brewed a cup.

“You mentioned you liked this particular anime?” Phil smiled at him, as Dan handed him the mug.

Phil had put ‘Free!’ on, while Dan was in the kitchen. As it started Dan couldn’t help but remember a quite memorable conversation, or argument, he’d had over a year ago.

“Let me guess. You ship RinHaru,” Dan scrunched up his face at the thought, as he had all that time ago when he read Phil’s tumblr post which started all of this in the first place.

Phil laughed, “I used to. But I’ve been rewatching it lately and I sort of change my mind.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Makoto and Haru are better suited for each other, I think. And they really look great together to be quite honest,” Phil grinned turning from the television to Dan.

Dan smiled, contemplating telling him he might have a Haru body pillow. Something about his jet black hair and piercing blue eyes was comforting. And not at all similar to the features of the person sitting next to him. Obviously.

Maybe he’ll just save that information for their third date.

After a couple episodes, Phil’s sniffles had come back with a vengeance, and he sneezed too often to pay attention to anything that was going on. Dan brought him his medicine from the kitchen, which was supposed to calm his sniffling and was also a sleep aid.

“But I don’t want to be drowsy. I want to play Mario Kart!” Phil whined.

“Phil, you need to sleep in order to get better,” Dan argued, wondering why sick people were so goddamn stubborn.

So they compromised, and Phil agreed to take the medicine if they played some Mario Kart before he went to bed.

Phil was actually quite good, Dan came to find. Not as amazing as him of course, but still really good.

There was one awkward moment before they started playing: when Phil asked Dan what his gaming username usually is. Dan hesitated before answering, with ‘shitshitshitshit’ running through his mind. He wondered if Phil would piece together that ‘danisnotonfire’ is what _dinof_ stands for. Dan had coughed, not meeting his eye as he told him his username, but thankfully Phil probably didn’t think anything of it, or just didn’t show that he did.

When the medicine hit him about forty-five minutes into playing, Phil’s brain got too fuzzy to really concentrate. When he slipped on his own banana peel, Dan decided to call it a night.

“Time for bed little one,” Dan laughed.

God, he’s so disgustingly smitten.

“Not yet! Tell me a story,” Phil pouted. He jumped in his spot, and when he landed he was half on top of Dan. Dan stopped breathing, not daring to move a muscle.

“I think the medicine’s making you a little loopy, Phil,” Dan said bopping Phil’s nose.

“Story please,” Phil repeated, ignoring him.

Dan sighed, knowing better than to argue with someone sick. He was in the middle of telling a story about a time he got sunstroke, when he looked back down at Phil. Phil was staring at his lips.

Dan’s mouth dried. He stuttered in his story, Phil noticing and looking back up at his eyes, “I love the way you talk.”

He’s definitely more than a little loopy.

“Oh, I—really? I was always kind of self-conscious about it. People used to call me ‘posh.’”

Shit, should he have said that? He definitely sent that in a message to Phil. But Phil seemed too delirious to notice.

“It’s lovely. And passionate. I could listen to you talk all day.” Phil smiled and closed his eyes, still on top of Dan. Dan blushed, thankful Phil’s eyes were closed, but noticing that Phil’s head was on his chest and could probably feel Dan’s heart beating at a million miles a minute.

He—he has to ask. He knows Phil is loopy and he isn’t sure he should take advantage of him in this state but he needs to know.

“Phil? Can I ask you something?”

Phil hummed in response.

“What happened to that guy? The one you were going to meet at the café.”

Phil blinked his eyes open. “He never showed. I still talk to him though.”

Dan knows this. They still message each other constantly about various things, but it’s nowhere near the real thing.

This wasn’t the information he was looking for. He’s not going to beat around the bush.

“And you love him.” He said it as a statement, not a question.

“Yes. So much. I—I think he’s the one.”

***Phil Lester***

> _“Can we meet? I know I fucked up last time, but I really want to meet you. Please? You can tell me to piss off if you want, but I’d really love another chance.”_

Phil sighed, pocketing his phone without replying to _dinof’s_ message.

He went back to setting up the fake pumpkins at his store’s window display. October was passing by so quickly, Phil was trying to appreciate as much of it as possible. Decorations were a must.

It’s just—he’s been waiting for so long for _dinof_ to want to meet him again. But for some reason he’s not as excited as he thought he’d be. Sure, Phil still cared for him, but he just felt hesitant to say yes just yet.

His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out, smile forming on his face when he realized it was a text from Dan. Dan was complaining about Felix and Marzia making out in his office, and Phil sent him a tongue-sticking-out emoji as he giggled to himself.

Dan. Phil couldn’t deny he was part of the reason he was so hesitant. Okay, he was probably the only reason. There were feelings were there. He would be a liar if he told himself there weren’t.

Dan had become such a constant in Phil’s life. He was always stopping by at Phil’s store throughout the day, sometimes they hung out at Phil’s apartment, and when they weren’t together they were texting. When Dan had taken care of Phil when he was sick a couple weeks before, it had felt so domestic and so _right_.

He knows he still loves _dinof_. And it’s too soon to even _consider_ naming what he feels for Dan ‘love’. But he feels like he’s betraying _dinof_ anyway.

But he can’t be a coward. He needs to either break things off with _dinof_ (if they were anything to break off) or become an official couple with him. He has no idea which to do but he’ll figure it out, and neither can be done over the internet.

He braced himself, pulling his phone out and opening the app once more.

> _“Of course I’d still love to meet you. How about this Friday? The 19 th.”_

***Dan Howell***

He was trying not to freak out. Why should he freak out? Phil literally told him he loved _dinof_ , which is him. Therefore Phil loves him. Kind of.

Dan groaned and turned on his bedside lamp. It was 3 am and his nerves were bursting out of him by the seams. He should do something productive. Like choose an outfit to meet Phil with. Maybe then his confidence will grow under the false idea of preparation and he can get some sleep. Good plan.

It’s just—when Phil told Dan he loved _dinof_ that night when he was sick, Dan couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Obviously, Dan _knows_ they’re the same person, but _Phil_ doesn’t. In Phil’s mind, he’s in love with someone else and he willingly didn’t choose Dan. Yes, the person he did choose _is_ Dan, but Phil doesn’t know that, so what if Phil just doesn’t like something about him, which he hasn’t noticed in _dinof_ yet. Something he hadn’t made apparent through the internet.

He makes no sense at 3 am.

He knows he’s being irrational, but how could he not be. He’s in love. He’s allowed to be irrational.

Dan sighed as he sorts through his t-shirts and looks for a clean pair of jeans to wear.

There’s always the chance that it’s that he simply hasn’t forgiven Dan about how much of a dick he’d been. Maybe he can’t see himself ever thinking of Dan that way.

A horrible thought struck him. What if when Dan meets him on Friday, Phil is disappointed?

Dan shook his head of the thought. He knows how Phil looks at him. His eyes brighten and he always looks so happy to see him. He knows Phil must feel _something_. Even if it’s not as strong as what Dan feels.

He’d tried explaining the situation to Felix and Marzia to try to gain their input but they were unhelpful as always. Marzia told him to not be an idiot and that it’s obvious Phil cares for him. Felix was just surprised they weren’t shagging already.

He yawned sleepily, finding a jacket he knows he looks good in and laying it out on his bed as an option for tomorrow. God he hopes it’ll work out.

They could go to each other stores throughout the day like usual, but with kisses to give instead of cups of coffee. On nights they spend at each other’s flat, they could carpool to work. He’d never consider competition as threat any longer. He now knows Phil never viewed it as competition anyway.

Maybe (hopefully) if they last, they could….merge businesses? Regardless about what they feel about it, one store will still be making more than the other, and merging would lessen any domestic arguments. They could get a joint bank account and knock down the wall between their stores, just like Dan’s walls had been knocked down when Phil came into his life. It was fucking poetic.

Maybe they could redecorate, incorporating some of Dan’s monochrome but adding a little color. Just like how Phil was the single splash of color in his life.

Maybe they could rename it. They could combine their current store names like ‘Amazing Fire’ or ‘Fire Gaming’ or something.

Or they could use their own names. ‘danandphilgames’ has a nice ring to it.

But he’s getting ahead of himself. Their future would be something they plan together.

First, he had to make Phil his.

***Phil Lester***

Todays the day.

Phil was trying not to vomit.

He can’t believe after all this time he’s actually going to meet him. He’s going be speaking to him face to face.

He’s so nervous, he can’t sit still. They’re supposed to meet at two in Hyde Park, but he can’t just sit in his flat and wait until then.

So he calls Dan, who picks up on the first ring. “Hey! Are you free to get some lunch?”

\---

They go to a small café near the park to eat some pasta.

Phil’s stress goes away as he hangs out with him. Dan’s presence is comforting, and he’s constantly laughing as Dan tells him about his day.

Phil is can’t help but think about how part of him doesn’t even want to leave to meet _dinof_. When Phil tells Dan he’s finally going to meet ‘that guy from the café’ today, Dan smiles and asks if he’s excited.

He is, is the thing. This is person who he’s connected amazingly with for over a year. But he’s not sure if he can honestly say that he only has feelings for _dinof_ alone.

Dan is just so—beautiful in every way. Appearance wise obviously, but everything else is beautiful as well. He’s so complex and passionate and articulate and Phil wants to know everything about him.

He’s long considered _dinof_ to be his soulmate. The love of his life. He was sure that when they met in real life, they’d click just like they did online, and that would be that.

But he’s not sure if anyone will compare to Dan Howell.

“I am excited, yeah,” he answers, checking his watch. “Crap, I need to go soon. We’re meeting at two.”

Dan smiled at him widely, dimples forming. It only made Phil frown.

Why is Dan so happy for Phil to go meet _dinof_? He must not care at all for him if he’s this freaking excited for him to meet the person he told Dan he loved.

Phil’s heart hurt. Here he was, debating who he should give his love to, and Dan doesn’t even _care_.

He stood up. If Dan didn’t see him that way, then screw it. He’s leaving to go meet _dinof_.

Dan stood with him and they exited the café.

Phil’s breath got knocked out of him as Dan suddenly wrapped his arms around his middle, hugging him tight.

“Good luck,” he whispered in Phil’s ear, sending shivers through his him.

Phil nodded at him, before turning towards the park.

\---

They’re meeting at a spot in Hyde Park surrounded by flowers.

As Phil reaches the place they discussed, he can’t help but admire the beautiful scenery. The trees were losing their leaves, creating a very pretty autumn atmosphere. It’s very romantic.

He stands and waits, looking around for any sign of someone just as nervous as him.

A minute later, he sees a familiar tall figure walking toward him, dimples on display.

Dan? What’s he doing here? Phil never told him where—

Wait.

Holy crap.

Dan finally reaches him, beaming as he grabs both of Phil’s hands.

“Hello _gaminglion_.”

Phil was going to hyperventilate.

“Are you—Dan, you—this whole time?” he stuttered with wide eyes.

“The whole time. Honestly, how could you not figure out it was me? Who else waffles on about bullshit twenty four seven? I thought that conversation we had a week ago about existentialism was a dead giveaway. And _dinof_? It stands for my gaming username,” He explained in a quick breath, grin never faltering, as he looked at Phil with fondness and adoration.

Dan Howell. Dan Howell was _dinof_.

Dan was his soulmate.

“Have you known all this time?” he asked suddenly, gripping Dan’s hands tighter so he never disappears.

“I only knew it was you since that night at the café. Are you mad?” he asked hesitantly, his smile drooping a little.

Mad? Is he kidding?

“Dan, I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you _so_ badly.”

Dan beamed, his eyes watery and suddenly cupped Phil’s cheek. Their lips met, and Phil sighed into the kiss. He placed his hands on Dan’s hips pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, lips moving against each other more confidently. It didn’t last much longer, as they both couldn’t stop smiling.

Phil pulled away slowly, making sure not to move farther away from Dan. He rested his forehead against Dan's and they held each other as they grinned with nothing but love in their eyes, both too overcome with happiness to say much else just yet.

There’s probably over a million universes out there, but Phil can’t help but think that he and Dan were fated to find each other in every single one of them.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [howellhaze.](http://howellhaze.tumblr.com/) Come visit me!
> 
> I appreciate comments, and [here](http://howellhaze.tumblr.com/post/133238826895/just-the-beat-of-my-own-heart-howellhaze)is a rebloggable link if you liked it (:


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